


Falling Again

by grandecoffee



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Family Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23650765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandecoffee/pseuds/grandecoffee
Summary: The last thing Nico thought he would be is friends with Jason Grace. However, when Percy Jackson, the common factor in both of their lives, dies suddenly, their lives become inextricably linked, and Nico finds that he wouldn't have it any other way.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Jason Grace
Comments: 14
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Yasmine—Merry very belated Christmas.

“I wish I could translate the hints about the dead young men and women, / And the hints about old men and mothers, and the offspring taken soon out of their laps.” - Walt Whitman, _Leaves of Grass_

The third time in a row Nico got a zero on his start of the period English quiz, Mr. Brunner asked him to stay after class. Unlike most of the other students who failed that day, Nico had done the reading; in fact, he’d read Hamlet so many times that he could recite it on command. Had he put his pen to paper, he would have been able to answer the five short response questions on the sheet. 

It wasn’t that Nico didn’t understand the book, he just couldn’t even bring himself to write his name on the paper. The mere thought of writing flooded his mind with images of Percy’s sea-green eyes, tousled raven hair, and strong, calloused hands. Those images morphed into the casket that that boy now occupied, six feet below the ground, instead of sitting in the seat in front of him. English was the class where Nico now sat catatonically staring into that chair, every fiber of his being wishing that Percy was alive. 

The bell rang, snapping Nico out of his reverie. He slung his bag over his shoulder and shuffled over to Mr. Brunner’s desk, knowing he must have looked as bad as he felt. He was the image of a teenage crisis: his eye bags weighed more than ever, his sweatshirt had a coffee stain down the front, and his hair looked as if it hadn’t been combed in a week. 

“Nico, I’d like to speak to you about the quizzes,” Mr. Brunner said, concern evident in his voice.

“I know I didn’t take them. I’m sorry. I’ll make sure to study—”

“You’re my number one student, and I know that this subject comes naturally to you. If I were concerned about grades, this conversation would have a very different trajectory. I’m more worried about your mental health, Nico.”

Nico had hoped Mr. Brunner wouldn’t notice just how much of a mess he was, though he knew it was impossible not to. He was usually good at hiding his problems under a mask of sarcasm and indifference, but this was one he was completely unable to bottle up. He swallowed hard, wanting the tiled floor to engulf him. 

Mr. Brunner didn’t wait for his response, knowing what was wrong without Nico having to tell him: “Annabeth set up a grief support group. There is a meeting after school today in room 237. I really encourage you to attend.”

The rest of the day went quickly, each period passing by in a dim haze. Most days went this way for Nico, or at least since Percy died two weeks ago.

Calverton High was left reeling when their star wide receiver was killed. Percy scored the final touchdown of the championship game, and since then, he had been hailed as a local hero. He was already one of the most popular kids in school, known not only for his football ability but his fierce loyalty. Percy, jock though he was, had been legendary for his kindness. He was the perfect package: athletic, compassionate, and not to forget, hot as hell. 

When the news broke that Percy was dead, the impact was immediate. When Nico found out that Percy was gone, his already fragmented heart shattered beyond repair. 

\---

Room 237 was empty when Nico arrived. The desk chairs were arranged in a circle, and he took one nearest the window. The bare trees stood tall, their branches outstretched toward the gray-blue sky. Their gnarled roots plunged deep below the earth, and Nico focused his gaze on the flattened, brown grass that remained near the trees’ bases though it was well into the winter. 

The dead grass reminded him of his favorite Whitman quote: “And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves. Tenderly will I use you curling grass, It may be you transpire from the breasts of young men.” He couldn’t help but imagine Percy as Whitman would, still alive in the grass and the trees just outside, watching over him in death. 

Nico pried his eyes from the window, to see someone sit down directly across the circle from him. He was surprised to see Jason Grace, the captain of the football team. Though Nico knew that Jason had been one of Percy’s best friends, he never would have imagined him the type to set foot in a support group. He watched Jason as he sat, his sky-blue gaze trained out the door as if hoping for more people to arrive. 

Jason’s right arm was encased in a bright orange cast; he broke his arm in the car accident that took Percy’s life. Nico felt resentment burn in his chest. He didn’t know many of the details of the crash, but the one thing he knew for sure was that Jason was the driver, and that he was driving Percy home from a party. He blamed Jason for Percy’s death, and couldn’t stand to think that the only other person in the room to grieve with was the one who was most responsible. 

Jason stood and closed the door. No one else had shown up.

“I guess it’s just us for today? There were more people at the first two of these meetings,” Jason said, sitting down again. 

“Where’s Annabeth?”

“She had a thing. I, uh, I’m leading today, and I want to get to know you.”

The last thing Nico wanted was to talk about his feelings with Jason fucking Grace. The worst part though, was that Jason looked like he genuinely wanted to talk to Nico, making Nico’s irrational brain want to hate him even more. 

“I think I’ll pass. I’m going home.”

Jason looked like a kicked puppy, his hesitant smile turning into an expression of hurt.

“Are you sure? I don’t know you super well, but I’m here for you if you need it.”

“Just like how you were there for Percy when you crashed your fucking car?”

Nico regretted the words the instant he said them, but it felt good to express the anger he had been fostering. For a moment, it seemed like the entire school went totally quiet. Jason stood, towering at least six inches above him. Nico could see the fist of his non-broken arm clenching and unclenching, the imposing muscles flexing and unflexing underneath his shirt. Jason’s piercing eyes bored into Nico, and he sucked in a breath.

“You really think that I killed him? You think I killed my best friend?”

Hearing Jason say it made it sound so much more like the truth. He retorted, “I mean, you were coming back from a party. Who’s to say you weren’t drunk?”

“I don’t drink.”

“Of course you fucking do! You were driving, drunk off your ass, and you killed Percy Jackson.”

“I told you. I. Don’t. Drink.”

“As if I’d believe you. I don’t even know you.”

“But you know me well enough to accuse me of killing Percy?”

Nico was at a loss for words. His heart was pounding, and he suddenly became very aware of his body. Jason had moved closer to him, and they now stood toe to toe. Nico’s dark glare was focused on Jason’s face, which looked as if he would either punch him or start crying if Nico said anything else. After a tense moment of oppressive silence, Jason said something.

“Get out. If you ever speak to me again, I’ll beat the shit out of you!”

Nico grabbed his things and stormed out of the room, angry tears forming in his eyes that he wouldn’t let fall. Jason had to have done it. There had to be someone to blame his unimaginable grief upon. He felt vindicated, in a twisted way, but he hated himself for saying what he did. 

Hating himself was something that Nico was used to. Self-loathing, the familiar feeling, blossomed in the pit of his stomach, making him want to vomit though he hadn’t eaten since before school began. The ever present nausea that had plagued him since Percy’s death only worsened, and though he was hungry, he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep anything down. Even if he could, he didn’t think he deserved the satisfaction he would get from being full.

\---

The last place Nico wanted to be the next morning was his first period class. He had barely slept the night before, his mind swirling with images of turquoise eyes and Jason’s glare. As if having to be in class by 8 am wasn’t bad enough, he was taking AP US History, and the sound of Mr. D’s grating voice droning on about World War I made him want to choke on his black coffee. Nico usually didn’t eat, well, at all, but he couldn’t start his day without caffeine to keep him alive. 

He was just starting to zone out when he heard Mr. D announce a group project. He barely had friends at school, and group projects only served as a cruel reminder of that fact. 

“—and I’ll be assigning your partners.” 

At least he didn’t have to wait for the people left without anyone to work with. He didn’t know anyone in his class, so assigned groups were kind of a blessing. He sat at his desk, waiting for his name to be called from the list Mr. D was holding.

“Clarisse… and Ethan. Nico and… Jason.”

Nico’s heart stopped. He hadn’t even known Jason fucking Grace was in his class. His head swiveled around to see the blonde stand up and walk toward him. Nico’s shoulders tensed, and his mouth got dry. Jason, with his too perfect letterman jacket and his starched looking jeans looked like the kind of high schooler you saw in a movie. He also looked like the kind of high schooler that pummeled nerds like Nico, a fact he’d confirmed with their confrontation the day before.

Jason took a seat at the empty desk next to him, its occupant having left to go to his own partner. Jason’s brow furrowed, his icy stare guarded and unforgiving. After a long, agonizing moment, he looked away, and Nico let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Jason put the project sheet on the desk in front of him, which he’d gotten from Mr. D on his way over. 

It appeared that they had to create a poster about one of the causes of the United States entering the war, due the next week. No big deal, except that it involved working in close quarters with Jason, the person he would have most avoided had he been given the choice. 

Jason cleared his throat and spoke: “Look. I know we have our differences, but we have to work together on this one. I really don’t want a bad grade.”

Of all the things Jason could have said, Nico was not expecting him to care about grades. The members of the football team weren’t exactly known for their dedication to schoolwork, and Nico didn’t think Jason would be any different.

“If you want, I can save us trouble and do the whole thing,” Nico replied, dismissing what he had said.

“I’m not exactly sure why you think so poorly of me, but that’s not gonna happen,” Jason bit out, his eyes narrowing. “I’m not some dumb jock who just wants to use you.”

Nico wasn’t entirely sure he believed him, but nodded silently. He saw Jason’s hands curled into fists on his desk, and instinctively backed his chair away. Jason didn’t seem to notice, but after a deep breath, he relaxed.

“I’m free after school today. Would you maybe want to go to the library to work?” 

Nico didn’t want to spend any more time with him than he had to, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. 

“Sure,” he answered tersely. 

“Okay. I’ll text you when I get there?”

“You don’t even have my number.”

“Well, let’s fix that.” Jason opened the palm of his unbroken arm toward Nico, beckoning for him to give him his phone.

Nico eyed the hand warily. 

“Come on. It’s not like we’re gonna email each other,” Jason said impatiently. 

Nico sighed, opened his messages, and let Jason send himself a message from his phone. It felt weird to have such a direct line of communication with him; it felt like he barely knew him. 

Jason gave Nico his phone back and opened his mouth, as if to say something, but was interrupted by the bell ringing. Just like the day before, Nico quickly shoved his things into his backpack and hurried out of the room. Unease brewing in his chest, he wanted to get as far away from Jason as he could. 

During lunch, he sat with Reyna, Frank, Hazel, and Will, at their usual table. The lunch conversation went how it always did, but as he had been for a while, Nico wasn’t present. He picked at his gross-looking school lunch tray, knowing that even if he felt like eating, he wouldn’t have been able to stomach the greasy tater tots and gray looking hamburger. 

He glanced up toward the large table closest to the door, where the football team and all their friends normally sat. He always used to pick out Percy’s dark hair, watching for just a moment how he would laugh so naturally with his friends. Nico closed his eyes, trying to wipe the image from his brain. When he opened them again, he noticed that Annabeth and Jason weren’t there, like they usually were. They were sitting on their own, embroiled in an intense conversation. Nico squinted, trying to read their lips, but was interrupted.

“—Nico! Earth to Nico!”

“What do you want?”

Apparently, Will had been trying to get his attention for the past minute.

“Hazel and I wanted to know if you were free after school to go to open mic in the theater. Wanna come?”

“Sorry, can’t.”

“Aww come on. You barely do stuff with us anymore! What are you even doing anyway?”

Hazel elbowed Will, knowing how much Percy’s death had been affecting Nico’s ability to do much of anything. Will winced, offering him an apologetic smile.

“I actually have a project to work on.”

With that, Nico left, wanting to be alone. He headed to the bench he normally sat at when he wanted to be alone, near the water fountains outside the cafeteria. But, unlike normal, there was someone sitting there: Jason Grace, who he hadn’t even noticed left the cafeteria. As if being paired up with him for the project wasn’t bad enough, there he was, sitting in Nico’s favorite place to wallow. 

Just before he could walk away without Jason noticing, the blonde turned toward him. Nico saw his jaw tighten, and turned tail before Jason said anything. Since their argument the day before, it was as if Nico saw Jason around every corner.

\---

Nico loved the library. As a child, reading allowed him an escape from the world around him, where he could fight monsters vicariously through his favorite characters, rather than facing his own demons. He would spend hours upon hours in the library, devouring as many novels as he could. It had been his haven. 

Now, being in the library only dredged up memories he’d rather not relive. He couldn’t sit amongst the shelves of books and worn wooden tables without thinking of the tutoring sessions he’d had with Percy. He took a seat at a table near the Greek Myths section, where he and Percy would always sit. If he stared at the thick tomes long enough, he was almost able to remember the timbre of Percy’s laugh as they went off into tangents rather than focused on the assignment. 

He almost left, unable to bear the darkness clouding his mind, when his phone pinged. He fished it out of his jeans pocket, and saw that Jason (still just a number, not a contact, in his phone) had texted him.

 **_3:51 PM_ \+ 1 (917) 649-2381  
where are u  
** _3:52 PM_  
greek myths

He placed his phone on the table, and dug through his backpack for his laptop and his history folder. When he emerged, he saw Jason coming toward him. He took a seat to Nico’s right, turning away to gather his own materials. He set his notebook next to Nico’s folder, and Nico noticed that he had taken out a slim case. 

Jason Grace… wore glasses? That was news to Nico. He couldn’t help but notice how the simple, black glasses framed Jason’s admittedly attractive face. Nico blinked, not wanting to dwell on his odd observation.

“So. I was thinking about doing the Zimmerman Telegram for the poster. You okay with that?”

When Nico hesitated, he forged on ahead.

“You really did think I’d let you do all the work.”

“I’ve had enough experience with guys like you to expect shit like that.”

“Look. I know you hate me and I’m not sure why, but can you put whatever you have against me aside for the sake of this stupid project?”

Nico sighed. His resentment of Jason was something that he could address later; now was for focusing on World War I. 

“Fine,” he replied, opening his laptop. 

The pair worked alongside each other for the next hour, contributing bits and pieces of research to their shared Google document. At one point, when Jason left to find a physical source in the history section, Nico realized that working with him hadn’t been as bad as he’d been expecting. Jason was an efficient studier, which was a nice change of pace from all the group projects past.

With Jason still nose deep in World War I biographicals, Nico took an opportunity to stretch his legs. He stood by the shelves of mythology, eyes roving over the colorful covers. He reached for Homer’s Odyssey, a familiar story so ingrained into his mind that he could quote it. Flipping through the worn pages, he played his highlight reel of the twenty four books.

And as he did with most things, he couldn’t help but think of Percy. The month before, Nico had helped Percy to write his essay on the Odyssey for Mr. Brunner’s class. He had wanted to write about the ocean’s role in the narrative— a perspective Nico had never thought to look at before. 

As Percy’s English tutor, he quickly found that Percy was quite good at analysis and had the creativity necessary to write a good paper; he was only limited by his dyslexia, a condition that greatly hindered his ability to write at all. Nico cherished the memories of helping Percy spin his thoughts into threads of paragraphs. 

“True friendship's laws are by this rule expressed, welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. Book fifteen,” Jason said, before placing two World War I books on the table and taking his seat.

“Huh?” was Nico’s eloquent response.

“I like the Alexander Pope version of the Odyssey. I think the rhyming is cool.”

“Oh. I’ve always been partial to the Fagles editions.”

“Honestly? I like the Iliad more.”

Nico nodded, slowly. He never would have pegged Jason as a classics fan, but he was learning new things about the boy by the minute. 

“Are you taking Mr. Brunner’s English class?” Nico asked.

“Yeah, I have it last period.”

Nico put the Odyssey back in its place on the middle shelf, and sat facing Jason.

“I’m in his other period.”

“I kind of figured.”

Jason opened one of the books he’d brought: Rendezvous With Death. He rifled through the pages, before glancing sheepishly at Nico.

“Sorry, this one isn’t about the Telegram. I thought it looked interesting and I couldn’t help myself.” 

Nico smiled to himself. He knew what it was like to not be able to help oneself around an interesting book, and needing to know the stories that lay between its covers. He and Jason then reached for the other book at the same time, and they locked eyes when their hands brushed together. Nico immediately recoiled, the touch foreign and full of static electricity. 

Jason had done the same, and turned away. Nico tentatively took the book, his eyes firmly trained on its cover. It was a source rife with history, and Nico commended Jason’s choice. He was undoubtedly a good project partner, but that did nothing to dispel the ever present tension between them. 

They fell back into their rhythm of quiet work, adding more and more to their compilation of factoids. After another half an hour of productivity, Jason broke the silence. 

“I think we have enough?” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose. Nico became acutely aware of Jason’s presence beside him, but definitely didn’t notice how his soft looking blonde hair had fallen into his eyes, and certainly didn’t see how Jason’s shirt rode up when he stretched in his seat. 

“Did you hear me?” Jason asked, louder. 

“Uh, yeah. Yes.” Nico cleared his throat and inhaled sharply, wiping the image of the sliver of skin he’d glimpsed from his mind.

“Nice. Do you wanna meet up and put together the poster on Saturday?”

“At the library?”

“Yeah. I’ll text you about times and stuff later.”

“Sounds good.” 

Nico began to pack away his things, thinking about all the ways that Jason was defying all of his expectations. Rather than a callous, barbaric jock, he was met with someone that was much like himself. Though Jason was quite different than how he thought he’d be, Nico still couldn’t get past the notion that he played a part in Percy’s death. Nico wasn’t able to banish the idea that Jason was a major contributing factor in his death, ruining any chance that Jason and him could be friends. 

They left the library together, only to find that while they’d been working, it had started to storm. Nico cursed his luck, really not wanting to walk home in the pouring rain. 

“It’s really comin’ down out there,” Jason said, draping his warm-looking varsity jacket over his shoulders and pulling an umbrella from his backpack. He also wrapped his cast in a plastic bag. 

“Yeah. Lucky me,” Nico replied, steeling himself for the cold, wet walk ahead.

“What do you mean?” Jason asked, confused.

“I have to fucking walk, and of course, I forgot to bring an umbrella.”

“How far are you? If you want, we can share mine for a bit.”

Nico didn’t know how to feel, nor did he know how to respond. Jason, who had threatened to beat him up the day before, was offering to go out of his way to help Nico stay dry on his walk home. If ever he experienced whiplash, it was at that moment. 

“I’m about five blocks that way,” Nico said, gesturing to his left. 

“Oh cool. I’m going the same way. My house is much farther though. I used to drive but—” He cut off abruptly, his jaw snapping shut with an audible click. They both knew why he no longer drove to school. 

They began walking. They didn’t speak, as the rain beat down in a steady march around them. Nico’s eyes were trained on the pavement, avoiding looking at Jason at all costs. Though Nico lived fairly close to the school, the walk felt like it lasted for centuries. 

Just as they crossed the last street before Nico’s block, Nico tripped over the curb. He braced himself for an impact that never came; he instead felt a strong arm grip his side, and he found himself pressed against Jason’s chest. The umbrella lay where Jason had thrown it aside, and Nico looked up, shellshocked, into Jason’s clear, blue eyes. He could feel Jason’s heartbeat against the palm that lay flat on his chest.

For a second, they stood there, rain dampening their clothes. Jason suddenly realized the position they were in, and stepped back as if he’d been burned. He scrambled to retrieve his umbrella, leaving Nico on the corner, red faced and very, very confused. 

The last few steps to Nico’s doorstep were worse than the entire trip that had preceded them. Jason seemed to feel the same way, keeping as much distance as he possibly could under the umbrella’s limited breadth. Jason bade him goodbye with a slight wave and walked away, his long strides taking him far away in a matter of moments.

Nico stood on his stoop in the rain, no longer caring how wet he was getting. He relished the feeling of the cold drops on his overheating face, but the cool touches still did little to soothe the mass of thoughts swirling within the confines of his skull. 

“Nico? Nico! What are you doing out there?” Hazel called to him from the living room window, having noticed him standing still and getting drenched. 

“Nothing, sorry. Can you please open the door?”

Hazel opened the door, concern written plain across her face. 

“Is father home?” Nico asked, not wanting to get yelled at for being home late and tracking dirty water onto their pristine floors. 

“No. He’s in Los Angeles for the week, remember?” she answered. 

“Right. Good.”

“Is everything ok?” Hazel, though a few years younger, was always worrying about him in one way or another. She knew that Nico didn’t take nearly enough care of himself, and did her best to make sure that his head stayed above the water. He was forever grateful for her presence in his life, and though he was pretty soaked, he gave her a crushing hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work has been a long time in the making, and I'm really glad that it's finally online. A quick note about the title: it's inspired by _Falling_ , by Harry Styles, so definitely give that a listen. Other songs to listen to whose vibes align with this fic include _Lookalike_ by Conan Gray and _Prom Dress_ by mxmtoon. Thank you so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Nico walked into his AP US History classroom the next day with dread and apprehension, his empty stomach twisting into knots. The night before, he was utterly distracted, occupied with the way Jason fit into his life like a piece from a different puzzle. He tried to complete his homework to divert his attention, but to no avail. The hyperbolas on his precalculus worksheet morphed into the curves of Jason’s hands, and the Spanish passage he had to read was illegible; he could only see Jason’s strong brow bone in lieu of the black print that the page was supposed to contain. He gave up on homework soon thereafter. 

Sitting in his usual seat, he attempted to set his head straight, thinking back to why he had disliked Jason in the first place, but found that the memory reel that starred Percy had started to fade just a little. More than anything, Nico was confused. 

He glanced at the clock above the door, and as if Nico had cued him, Jason came into the classroom. They made eye contact, and Nico was careful to school his expression into a blank slate. Jason, on the other hand, shot him a slight smile that sent Nico’s heart leaping into his throat, something he hadn’t felt since—

That was new. When their eyes met, Nico’s heart skipped a beat, and he internally groaned at how much this reminded him of feelings he’d had in the past for another blue eyed football player. For the rest of the morning, Nico studiously avoided thinking about either of them, focusing on his classwork with an intensity that he hadn’t had in a long time. 

Come lunch, he was ready for a reprieve. Though his friends could be serious when they wanted to be, they had a knack for finding the weirdest things to talk about during their lunch periods. He was looking forward to a dissociation from his thoughts via mindless conversation. 

“Yeah! No really! Because fanfiction is predominantly written by teen girls, it’s a way to subvert the male gaze by objectifying men instead!” Hazel was shouting when Nico arrived at their table.

“I get it? But you’re forgetting the second biggest group: the gays. We just like writing shit because sometimes, you gotta make it a little more than just subtext, if you catch my drift,” Will responded.

Reyna looked on in amusement, an AP Physics Barron’s review book open on her lap. Nico occasionally became embroiled in Hazel and Will’s quabbles, but like her, he was content to sit back and watch. As Reyna was definitely a more serious intellectual type than most of them, he sometimes wondered why she didn’t sit with the Speech and Debate team, of which she was a part. However, the fondness in her eyes was more proof than any that she preferred oddly analytical dissections of fanfiction culture to argumentative, quarter-zip wearing snobs. 

“Uh, what about the people who just want a creative outlet?” Frank piped in. Frank was the most soft spoken out of all of them, but was always ready to jump in.

Nico was about to comment something quippy when none other than Jason Grace decided to make an appearance. The conversation quickly died, and all eyes were on him.

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt, I just need to talk to Nico for a second,” Jason announced to nobody in particular, sounding as awkward as he was out of place.

“Go ahead, Goldilocks,” Will replied, without missing a beat.

“Just, um, about the project, I wanted to ask you if one on Saturday worked?”

“What happened to texting me?” Nico asked.

“I just thought I’d ask now before I forgot, that’s all.”

“Okay.”

“So one is fine?”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Awesome! I’ll, uh, go now.”

With that, Jason waved and practically ran back to his own table. Nico saw that when he returned, he made a beeline for Piper, the girl who always starred in the plays and musicals their school put on. Nico did his best to not think anything of it, especially when Piper threw an arm around Jason’s broad shoulders, speaking to him as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Well, that was weird,” said Will.

“Yeah,” said Reyna, “that was really unlike him.”

“‘Unlike him?’” Nico questioned, “you know each other?”

“We went to the same pre-K,” Reyna answered, “we’ve known each other ever since.”

“Huh,” Nico responded, not quite knowing what to say. The conversation then continued, leaving Nico by the wayside. The rest of the week proceeded in a similar fashion, with Nico distracted and isolated, even while in the company of others. 

Before he knew it, Saturday had come. It was a gray day, with rough winds howling through the bare trees. Nico arrived at the library just past one, only to find that it was closed for an event for elementary school students. He surveyed the area, trying to see if Jason was nearby. When he didn’t see any sign of the blonde, he decided to text.

_1:09 PM_   
im outside the library  
it’s closed tho

The biting wind nipped at Nico’s fingertips, but he found that he didn’t care. Cold air seeped through his too light jacket, but it made him feel more alive than he had in awhile. With each breath, the fog in his head seemed to dissipate, and he was able to see clearly for the first time since Percy. He sat on a dilapidated bench near the library’s doors, enjoying his newfound clarity even though his extremities were going numb. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed until Jason finally showed up. He jogged over to Nico, sweat gathering at his hairline and his face a blotchy red.

“Hey, I’m—” he stopped to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I made sure to bring the poster board but conditioning went much longer than I thought it would, and I didn’t have my phone on me, and I didn’t even get to change—”

“It’s fine,” Nico cut him off.

“How long were you waiting here?”

Nico pulled out his phone, to see that the time was 1:28. 

“About 20 minutes-ish.” 

“And you were waiting outside? Again, I’m really sorry.”

“I said it’s fine. I like the cold anyway.” 

Nico stood, and the pair began to walk.

“Because the library’s closed, would it be okay if we worked at your house? I really don’t mean to impose, it’s just mine is so much further and I know you said you liked it, but I’m really cold.”

“Okay,” Nico answered simply. Jason was being oddly talkative, rambling more than he’d seen in their brief week of knowing each other. As they approached his block, though, Nico remembered why he hadn’t thought to offer his house in the first place.

“Wait. We can’t be there. My father’s getting home from LA in a few hours, and he won’t be happy to have a stranger in the house.” Nico dreaded the thought of his father finding out that he invited someone over, even for the express purpose of studying, without asking permission. He definitely didn’t want his day to be ruined by an angry, passive aggressive, shouted lecture.

“Oh. We can go to my place, if you don’t mind walking.”

“That’d be better, yeah.”

They continued in the same direction, and though Nico’s own home was quite nice, he noticed that the overall quality of the homes they’d begun to pass was steadily rising. Jason’s talkative-ness seemed to cease, and they spent the rest of their journey in silence. 

After fifteen minutes of walking in the brisk winter air, they reached their destination. It was a fairly sizable colonial home, with columns framing the door. As Jason dug through his duffel bag for his keys, he heard barking coming from inside the house. Jason unlocked the door, and a huge German shepherd bounded at him.

“Oh! Hi girlie, I’m home,” he cooed to the dog, in a voice Nico didn’t think he was capable of making. 

“This is Lupa, by the way,” he said, leading Nico into the threshold, then the living room of his home. 

It was decorated like a Pottery Barn catalog: cozy and inviting, but somehow artificial. He saw framed photos lining the mantle, with pictures of Jason at various ages. Most of which also contained a girl with pitch black hair who shared his piercing blue eyes. One picture in particular caught his attention, where Jason was standing, in a suit, with a familiar looking man in front of the Washington Monument.

Jason saw him staring at the frame, and said “That’s my dad. He lives in DC, but my sister, Thalia, is still here. She works at a Planned Parenthood in the city so she’s not here for most of the day.”

Just then, Nico realized why Jason’s father had looked so familiar: “Wait, about your dad— is he a senator?”

Jason shifted his weight, looking entirely uncomfortable.

“Yeah. He is,” he said, and hastily changed the subject, “it’s really not a big deal though. Let’s work on the project, I guess.”

Nico could tell that Jason didn’t think too highly of his father, even though he was widely respected. If anyone understood that sentiment, it was Nico. He also noticed the distinct lack of mention of a maternal figure or any other sort of guardian, but he thought it tactless and inappropriate to ask. 

Jason laid out the materials he’d brought to the library on his dining room table. 

“Do you want to, like, type things and print them out to stick on? Or do you want to hand write?”

“Hand writing is fine,” Nico answered.

They planned their poster layout, and worked in an amicable silence that was similar to their session in the library. It was about an hour and half a poster later when Jason said, “let’s take a break.”

He stood up, and left the dining room for the kitchen. Nico trailed after him, and found him rummaging through his refrigerator.

“Is it ok if I grab something to eat real quick? I didn’t really have lunch so I’m starving.”

“That’s fine,” said Nico, and his stomach took that opportunity to growl as loud as it could— he hadn’t eaten either.

“Oh! I forgot to even offer! Do you want something?”

Though Jason was being so polite, Nico declined. Eating just made him nauseous anyway, and he didn’t mind the emptiness.

“Are you sure?” Jason asked, “it really isn't any trouble, and you sound pretty hungry.”

“I’m sure. I’ll eat when I get home.”

“Whatever you say. But if you do need anything, just ask.”

Nico nodded, turning away from the blonde as he made himself a sandwich. The kitchen was as picturesque as the other rooms he’d seen, like one out of a Food Network special. Draped over one of the chairs at the island was a blue varsity jacket, the name “Jackson” instead of “Grace” written across its back.

“You have Percy’s jacket,” Nico stated, trying to make it sound casual and utterly failing.

“Yes. I do. He left it here a while back,” Jason said, his voice having lost all of its easy-going tone, “why do you ask?”

“It’s just,” Nico took in a shuddering breath, knowing that though they’d already argued about it, his curiosity about how Percy really died got the better of him.

“It’s just that—I don’t know. I’ve always known… thought?… that it was your fault.”

“I feel like over the past few days, you’ve gotten to know me well enough to tell that I’m not an awful person,” Jason said, suddenly all hard edges and barely contained aggression.

“I know. I know… but I said this when we met: weren’t you driving?”

Jason’s sandwich lay completely abandoned, and his brow furrowed dangerously.

“I was. And I said this when we met: I was not, nor have I ever been drunk.” 

Each word was enunciated to the point where they were almost spat. Tension crackled like electricity between them, and Nico found himself in over his head. 

“Okay, so if that’s not what happened, what did?”

There was a long pause, and Nico felt as if his stomach would vault itself out of his mouth. He could tell that Jason was seriously debating whether to tell him or not.

“Why do you want to know so bad? It’s not like you were close, were you?”

That cut deep. Though many of Nico and Percy’s interactions had been relegated to their two hour tutoring sessions each week, because their conversations often devolved into talking about their lives and interests, Nico felt that they became pretty close. He looked forward to Percy’s hilarious anecdotes, as well as his requests for advice that went way beyond the books or essays assigned in their English class.

“We were. Just because you didn’t know we were friends doesn’t mean we weren’t,” Nico fired back, his own anger bubbling to the surface. He saw the hand of Jason’s non-broken arm gripping the counter like a vice, the muscles in his forearm flexing. 

“Weren’t you just his tutor or something?” Jason sneered, revealing his sharp, wolfish bite. At that point, it was clear the comment was aimed to hurt.

“Fuck you, Grace. Yeah, I was his tutor, but that doesn’t erase all the time we fucking spent together. He even said to me that he felt like he could confide in me more than most of his other friends. By that, I’m pretty sure he meant you.”

Nico’s heart was thumping through his sternum; he felt a rush of exhilaration and sick, twisted, pride at the scathing remark.

Jason yelled back, “You barely know me, so stop fucking pretending you do! You don’t understand, and you never will.”

“Then make me.”

Jason glared viciously at him, snarling and seemingly poised to attack. The tension was growing to a climax— but it was one that never came. 

“Fine. I’ll tell you,” he said, visibly deflating. The fight flowed out of him, leaving behind a sad looking boy whose slumped shoulders looked like they bore the weight of the world.

“That day, Drew was throwing a party, and she invited the whole team. I wasn’t even going to go, but Percy and the others roped me into it because I’m always designated driver. It was a normal party. Nothing really different happened, except that after maybe an hour and a half, Percy got real wasted. And I couldn’t let him stay and drink himself to alcohol poisoning, especially ‘cause he’d gotten high earlier that night. 

“So, I decided to drive him back to my place, because I knew his mom would have murdered him if she saw him like that. He was lying in the backseat, super out of it, and I was up front. I had just started to drive at a green light, when—”

Jason’s voice broke. Nico could see that now, the counter acted as a crutch for him, and his eyes were rimmed with red.

“I started to drive, and another car came speeding out of nowhere and completely destroyed the back of the car. And… and… I didn’t even realize that I was hurt because I was so worried about Percy, so I rushed out of the car, but it was so bad that I couldn’t see through the window. But standing there… seeing what happened… I blamed myself. I was so in shock that I couldn’t even call 911.”

Jason had begun to cry, tears rolling silently down his cheeks. His voice only wavered slightly, as he took a Herculean effort to not break. 

“I remember standing there, only able to watch the wreck, and there was this… this despair that I don’t think I’ve ever let go of. And the worst part is,” Jason wiped his eyes with his hands, “the worst part is that the driver who hit us? He was drunk.”

Nico’s stomach dropped to the soles of his feet, and he felt like a supreme asshole for all of his heated, completely incorrect accusations. Of course Jason had reacted so badly the first time. 

“You know, it’s like alcohol and all the bad shit that comes with it follows me. First my mother, who’d been an alcoholic since I was born, then Percy— I don’t drink because I can’t lose anyone else.”

At this point, Jason’s body was wracked with a heaving sob, and the waves of pain he’d been holding in came spilling out. Nico’s heart ached for the boy, hating to see him so broken by all that had happened to him. He didn’t quite know what to say, and he definitely didn’t want to make it worse. Though he and Jason had never been that close, Nico knew he couldn’t leave him like that, and went around the counter with outstretched arms to offer a hug. 

Jason took it, and he cried into the junction between Nico’s neck and shoulder. His hands clutched at Nico’s sweater, holding him like a lifeline. Nico traced small circles into Jason’s broad back, trying his best to imitate what Hazel always did when he was upset. 

“I’m so, so sorry. For everything,” he said softly. He hoped Jason could tell just how much he meant those words.

Jason pulled away, his red eyes looking into Nico’s own, and said, “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have unloaded.”

“Please, please don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have blamed you for something like that, and I’m so sorry. The least I could do is be here for you.”

Against his better judgment, Nico gave him another hug. Now that Jason was standing straight, Nico’s face was the one in his shoulder. For a moment, Jason stood, frozen, and Nico dreaded that he’d made a mistake. But, Jason hesitatingly reciprocated, tightening his arms until their embrace was as bone crushing as the last one. 

All of Nico’s harbored bad feelings toward Jason had totally melted away, and to his surprise, so did the feelings he had for Percy. Through Jason’s own release, he was able to achieve one of his own, and their catharsis filled the kitchen with warmth. 

This time, Nico pulled away, and he caught Jason’s gaze. His eyes looked like the sky after rain clouds had parted, and the tears gathered in his lash line caught the gray light streaming in from the windows, making his eyes look large and vulnerable. Jason’s face broke into a watery grin, as if he too could feel that they had become so much closer, even though they’d only really known each other for less than a week. Nico couldn’t help but smile back, one of the first times he’d genuinely done so in a long time.

“Maybe… maybe we should get back to work?” Jason said, his voice rough.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

They returned to the dining room, and continued where they left off. The room was quiet, but comfortably so. He snuck glances at Jason, who he noticed kept yawning. The fourth time he saw it, he spoke up.

“Are you okay?”

“‘M fine. It’s just,” he yawned again, “it’s just been a long day. Got up dumb early, and I don’t know, I’m just super exhausted.”

“Maybe you could take a quick nap?”

“No,” he said, rubbing his eyes, “I have to help you finish.”

“It’s ok, I really think you should sleep for a bit. It looks like you need it, and you’ll be better when you’re rested anyway.”

Jason finally conceded, and went to his living room to take a fifteen minute nap. He told Nico to wake him when the time had passed, but when Nico went to do so, he found himself unable. The boy looked so tranquil, so relaxed, that Nico didn’t want to disturb him. He finished the poster on his own, but for once, he was okay with it. Had it been anyone else, he would have been frustrated and resigned, this time, he didn’t mind. 

When he finished, he intended to wake Jason up before he left, but again, he couldn’t. His breathing was even, lips slightly parted, and he looked just as, if not more, at peace than before. He slipped out, careful not to be too loud. Before he shut the door, though, he peeked at Jason’s sleeping form one last time, before he left. 

Nico enjoyed the wind that chilled him to the bone as he made the long walk home. He reflected upon all that had happened that afternoon, from the revelations about Percy’s death to how bad he felt for how he’d acted toward Jason. Considering that for the most part, Jason had only responded to his standoffishness with kindness, he hoped that someday, he could make it up to him. 

Sunday morning, Nico woke up to a slew of texts that Jason had sent him in the middle of the night.

**_2:02 AM_ \+ 1 (917) 649-2381  
fuck  
i just woke up  
why didnt you wake me up earlier???  
and you also finished??  
fuck im so so sorry  
and i even told you i was gonna help and pull my weight  
i promise im gonna repay you somehow  
hghhh **

_9:21 AM_  
it’s okay i don’t mind  
you looked super tired so i let you sleep  
dw you’re ok

As Nico turned Jason’s number into an official contact, he received more messages.

**_9:22 AM_ Jason Grace  
still though  
im going to repay you like i said  
that’s a promise **

_9:22 AM_  
ok


	3. Chapter 3

Jason was waiting outside of their history classroom Monday morning, their poster tucked under his arm. He didn’t notice Nico approach, so engrossed in something on his phone that he startled when Nico greeted him.

“Hey,” Jason said, smiling tentatively, “thanks again for, you know.”

“It really wasn’t a problem. Seriously.”

“I know, I just feel like I owe you something. I meant what I said: I’ll find a way to make it up to you.” 

Nico came to find that Jason did, in fact, intend to repay the perceived debt. Jason had started hanging around him more, as a knight would a princess charge. Walking home together after school once in a while and going from class to class as a pair became walking home together whenever they could and hanging out for real. 

Jason invited Nico over to watch a Star Wars original trilogy marathon one Friday evening a few weeks later, and Nico couldn’t tell whether it was whether it was because he was still hung up on whatever he felt he owed, or whether it was because they were truly becoming close. Nico definitely didn’t mind that Jason was slowly climbing up the ranks of his close friends, but he definitely didn’t want it to be one sided either. He pushed the intrusive thoughts to the back of his mind, and tried to focus on Yoda training Luke to be a true Jedi knight. He also tried not to think about how close Jason was to him on the couch, and how he radiated warmth like a space heater. 

When they finished The Empire Strikes Back, Jason turned to him and said, “I’ve got something to show you.”

As they went up the stairs, Nico’s stomach filled with butterflies at the uncertainty. Jason led him into a room at the end of the upstairs hall—his bedroom. It wasn’t large, with a bed and a desk taking up most of the floor space, and as messy as any normal teenager’s room. There were various posters on the walls, and several trophies on a shelf filled with books. 

Jason had gone straight to his closet, and as Nico made his way over, he pulled out a large photo album. Nico joined him where he sat cross-legged on the floor, peering over his shoulder as he flipped through the laminated pages. 

“So when Thal and I still lived in DC, when we were kids, we did pair costumes pretty much every Halloween,” Jason said fondly.

He found the page he was looking for, and said, “And because we’ve always been nerds for Star Wars, every year for five years, we did different Star Wars characters.”

The page was filled with photos of the two of them, as Luke and Leia, Han and Chewy, C3PO and R2D2—all the famous duos. Nico couldn’t help but smile at the images, and then at Jason. The second their eyes met, Jason grinned back at him. Nico glanced down at his lips, and noticed a small scar at the corner of his mouth.

“What happened?” Nico asked, and absentmindedly touched the scar. He flushed when he realized he had wondered aloud and touched Jason Grace’s face without asking.

“Shit, sorry! I was just— I didn’t mean—”

“It’s all good,” Jason said, clearly about to laugh. Nico was sure his cheeks were flaming red.

“I was a pretty dumb toddler, so I got it biting a stapler. Honestly, I wish the story was cooler.”

Jason looked into his eyes once more, another infectious smile on his face. Nico broke the eye contact; he felt his cheeks heat up even more. He noticed the large stack of SAT prep books on the floor next to Jason’s desk, and couldn’t help but ask, “When are you taking it?” 

Jason followed his gaze to the pile of books and his smile turned into a grimace.

“I took it in December. Thank any god who’s listening that I don’t have to take it again.”

“Oh! Congrats! That’s super exciting,” Nico replied.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to like, brag? Or anything? I just hope it’s good enough to get me out of this town.”

“What do you mean?”

Jason shrugged, looking back at Nico as he responded. 

“It’s just that… My father has always had high expectations for my sister and I, and that’s definitely a part of it, but he’s also made it clear that Thal and I need to make it on our own. He’s always in D.C. with his wife—who hates us—so we have to do our own thing either way.”

“So where do you want to go?”

“Huh?”

“You said you wanna get out of here, so where do you want to go?”

Without missing a beat, “California.” 

He continued, “I lived in the Bay Area for a bit as a kid, and a part of me has wanted to go back ever since.”

Nico knew the schools there were selective, but Jason would be an obvious fit at any one of them. Academically accomplished, captain of the football team; Nico couldn’t think of a place that wouldn’t want him. 

Friday night movies soon became routine. They’d switch off choosing movies, and Nico stayed so late a couple times that Thalia had to wake him up from where he’d fallen asleep on Jason’s shoulder. 

He started calling Jason on weeknights when he didn’t feel like doing any more physics problems, and Jason would always pick up after the second ring. They would be on the phone for hours; sometimes they would be deep in conversation about anything from Mr. Brunner’s English class to Netflix shows they’d watched, others, studying alongside each other. Nico helped Jason with precalculus, the only subject the other boy seemed to struggle with. Jason sent him stupid memes on Instagram, to which he would respond with yet stupider ones. They snapped each other so often that to Nico’s surprise, they were first on each other’s best friends lists. 

Jason was more than reciprocating their friendship. As they spent more and more time together, Nico found that the twinges of sadness and longing for Percy that he used to feel on the regular were few and far between, replaced by a quickened pulse and butterflies in his stomach whenever Jason’s name popped up on his phone, whenever Jason laughed at his dry humor, whenever Jason crossed his mind. Tried as Nico might to deny it, he had a crush. Fuck.

That’s why when Hazel insisted on dragging him to a baseball game one Friday a month and a half after their first movie night, Nico did everything he could to get out of it. He came up with one excuse after another, but his sister, with her iron resolve, was having none of it.

“You’re spending time with me and the others today. Period, end of story.”

“But—”

“But nothing! We haven’t seen you in forever! You’re coming with us, and supporting Frank.”

It was the first home game of the season, and Frank was a pitcher. For the past two years, they’d all gone to watch the first home game, and Hazel was not about to let him miss it. Nico texted Jason to tell him exactly that, making sure to include copious crying emojis. 

Nico had never been one for baseball, but he’d forgotten how fun watching games with his friends was. Will liked to come up with alternative rules, making them crazier with each inning. Hazel screamed as loud as she could whenever their team scored, ten decibels above anyone else. Reyna always watched intently, her sharp eyes catching every play. Though Nico had missed their easy banter and good vibes, he still wished that he was on Jason’s couch, eyes glued to a movie and blanket thrown over their laps.  
Near the seventh inning, Nico decided to go to the concession stand that the student union had set up near the parking lot. It was a little bit away from the field, but he didn’t mind getting to stretch his legs. For an evening in late March, it was relatively warm. The weather couldn’t be called spring just yet, but the bitterness of winter was long gone. 

He bought himself a lukewarm bottle of Coke, and a bag of Welch’s Fruit Snacks for Will. As he made his way back, he looked up at the sky. It was the deep indigo color that followed dusk, and was speckled with stars. None of them were particularly bright, but as he sipped his drink, he did his best to make out what few constellations he knew. 

But because his eyes were trained upwards, Nico failed to notice someone right in front him, and proceeded to not only bump into them, but empty his Coke down their back.

“What the actual fuck?!” 

The person whirled around, and Nico’s apology died in his throat when he saw it was Clarisse La Rue. Known for being the star of the wrestling team and her anger issues, she was not someone you wanted to spill your drink on.

He could barely react when she punched him in the stomach, yelling “I’m gonna beat your ass! This is my favorite jacket!” 

Clarisse grabbed him by the shirtfront, and socked him in the jaw. His head knocked back, and stars exploded behind his eyelids. She threw him to the ground and kicked him in the side, knocking all the air out of him. Before she could get in another blow, though, Nico heard another voice.

“Get away from him!” 

Nico followed Clarisse’s line of sight to the one and only Jason Grace. He’d finally gotten his cast off the week before, and was slowly getting his arm back to the strength it had been, but he still cut a fairly imposing figure.

“I guess your boyfriend’s here to save you.” 

With that, she sneered at him, spat on the ground, and stalked away.

Nico was flooded with relief, which then gave way to a dull pain emanating throughout his body.

“Are you okay?” Jason asked, kneeling beside him.

“Except for the gnarly bruises I’ll have for the next few weeks, I think I’m good. Thanks for… you know…”

Jason chuckled, a wry smile splitting his face. 

“Any time. I was here with my buddy Leo to watch the game.” He smiled to himself, shaking his head, “One Friday without me, and you almost get yourself beat up.”

Nico felt a deep blush spreading up his cheeks, and he prayed it was too dark for Jason to see it. 

“You saved my life, Prince Charming,” he said.

Jason stood, offered him a hand, and replied, “Anything for my damsel in distress.” 

He helped Nico up, and they stood there, bodies mere inches away from each other. Nico wasn’t sure what came over him, but he reached up for the back of Jason’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss. Jason didn’t pull away; he instead put a hand on Nico’s lower back, and at Jason’s touch, his stomach filled with liquid warmth. 

When they broke apart, Jason’s eyes bore holes into his own. His expression was scarily neutral, and Nico felt the warmth turn into solid ice. Despite the throbbing ache in his ribs and the migraine blooming in his head, without even a goodbye, he booked it back to the field. 

Nico slid into his seat, chest heaving, the floodlights illuminating the baseball diamond amplifying the pain in his skull tenfold. 

Hazel was the first to notice his return, and said, “Finally! Where the hell— wait what happened to your face?”

Though it was the top of the final inning, his friends were now paying him their full attention. 

“I’m fine,” he said, both dismissive and entirely unconvincing. 

“No, you’re not,” Reyna said, in the tone she usually reserved for debate. 

She gingerly touched his chin, angling it so that she could see his jaw, which was a splotchy, angry red. He sucked in a breath as she inspected him, the pain thumping in rhythm with his heartbeat. 

“Who did this to you?” she asked, more of a command than a question.

“No one. I tripped and—”

“No, someone punched you.”

He shot Reyna a pleading look, begging her not to make a scene. She seemed to understand, and addressed Hazel and Will.

“I’m gonna walk Nico home. Stay here and wait for Frank?”

Hazel and Will tried to protest, wanting to be there for him, but Reyna shut them down, sensing that though their worry was well intentioned, he didn’t want three people fussing over him. 

Reyna helped him down the bleachers, and looped one of his arms around her shoulders as they began the walk to Nico’s house. When they made it a good distance away, Reyna broke the silence that had settled over them.

“If you want, you can tell me what’s up. If you don’t I won’t force you to.” 

He appreciated that she wasn’t demanding that he tell her and showering him with obligatory pity. After a few more minutes without speaking, he couldn’t keep it in any longer. He explained his feelings for Jason and how no matter how much he tried to make them go away they kept getting stronger, that Clarisse was about to kill him for spilling Coke on her jacket before Jason showed up, and that they kissed and Nico ran away. 

“He didn’t say anything… he didn’t smile… it was weird and I thought I fucked up and kissed him when he wouldn’t have wanted it, so I ran. I’m really, really scared that I messed up one of the best things I’ve ever had.” 

Reyna listened the whole time, allowing him to vent without interruption. When he was finished, just half of a block before they arrived, she asked, “Do you want advice?”

“Yes, please.”

“I know you’re scared that you drove him away, but a relationship like this with a guy like Jason doesn’t get ruined that easily. When you’re ready, talk to him; I know it’ll be hard, but he will listen.” 

“Thank you, Reyna. For walking me home, and listening, and I know it’s super cheesy, but you’re a really good friend.” 

She laughed quietly, and replied, “Take care of yourself.”

Nico fumbled with his keys and let himself into his dark house. The lights in his kitchen shone too bright when he turned them on, and he took a deep breath to calm the pulse in his head. He popped an ibuprofen, flopped down on the couch in his living room, and sank into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

Saturday morning, Nico woke to searing sunlight, pain, and Hazel standing over him, a hand on his shoulder, looking equal parts pissed and worried. 

“We’re taking you to the hospital.”

Nico groaned, not wanting to do anything but go back to sleep. 

“No seriously. Reyna texted me last night, saying that you should see a doctor. She didn’t say much else, but I’m taking you. I already called an Uber.”

With Herculean effort, Nico stood up. The world tilted dangerously around him, but he managed to steady himself before he could fall. She helped him out of the house to the curb, and only a minute later, into a car.

As they arrived, Hazel said, “I know you probably don’t want to see him, but I called Dad.”

Their father had been in Nashville just the night before, so he must have flown back as soon as she’d called. 

She continued, “His flight is just about to land. He’ll be here soon.”

They sat in the ER waiting room for what felt like forever, leaving Nico trapped in his head, chock full of pain and regret. Hazel sat next to him, tapping at her phone to keep her hands busy, but not really doing anything on it. 

When Nico was just about ready to crawl out of his skin, their father walked into the near empty room. As always, he was dressed impeccably, as though he hadn’t come straight from a redeye flight. He approached where they were sitting and without a word, he gestured for them to follow him to the registration desk. 

“My son is injured,” he said to the woman at the desk, tone cool. 

Nico answered her questions, and was soon after taken to an exam room, while his father and sister were instructed to go back to the waiting area. The one plus of having a potential head injury was not having to spend one on one time with his father. 

A nurse with a pleasant disposition came into his room, with yet more questions. As she asked, he told her what had happened (a punch to the jaw, a punch to the stomach, a kick in the ribs), and what he was feeling (head and side pain). He was given an ice pack for his jaw, and she helped him out of his jacket and shirt, so that he could get an x-ray and a CT scan. 

When he returned to his room, his father was waiting for him. 

“I’ve been informed that you may have been assaulted. I am prepared to press charges should you wish.” 

Not even a ‘Hi son, you’re clearly injured. Are you okay?’ Typical.

“It’s fine. That won’t be necessary,” he said, not wanting to deal with the drama that charges against Clarisse would cause. His father didn’t respond. 

Just then, Nico’s stomach remembered that he hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before, cutting through the quiet in the room. The clock in the corner of the room read that it was half past two, but despite the hunger pangs, Nico had no appetite. 

“When did you eat last?” his father asked, quirking an eyebrow (something Nico was never able to do).

“Yesterday, lunch,” he bit out, the pain in his mouth returning.

The man gave him a onceover and curled his lip, judgement evident.

“In the future, it would do you good to take better care of yourself.”

His voice was indifferent and unsympathetic, belying the fact that he couldn't care less about the state his son was in. Anger at his father and self loathing was a cocktail of emotion he was too familiar with, and it was why Nico spent as little time with his father as he possibly could.

Instead of the pleasant nurse, a doctor returned with the results of his various scans, and Nico was grateful for the reprieve.

“You have a rib contusion and a hairline fracture in your mandible, but there are no signs that you’ve sustained brain damage. You’re very lucky—this could have been much more severe.”

With that, the doctor told him that he would be discharged. She explained that he was to ice both his jaw and ribs to reduce swelling, and gave him an acetaminophen-codeine prescription for the pain. 

“Take it easy,” she said, then replaced his ice pack, allowed him to redress, and sent him to the waiting room. His father filled out the discharge papers and made a follow up appointment whild Nico waited with Hazel. She looked tired, not in the mood for speaking, but her presence was the comfort that he needed. 

While waiting for the discharge process to finish, Hazel handed him his phone; she’d held onto it for him. He scrolled through the notifications: a few snaps from various people, some messages from Will, and to his surprise, fourteen missed calls from Jason, along with a slew of texts. 

His heart stuttered when he saw Jason’s name on his screen, the result of both his feelings for the other boy, and fear that he massively fucked up. He couldn’t bring himself to even read the texts, not wanting Jason to affirm the fate Nico was sure he would.

Sunday afternoon, Nico was ready for his father to go to whatever city he had to travel to next. A wildly successful investment banker, he often wasn’t home, needing to tend to his high profile clients both domestically and internationally. It’d been like that for as long as Nico could remember; when they were younger, he and Hazel would stay at home with a sitter, but as they grew older, they would spend longer stretches of time on their own. 

Nico preferred when it was just him and Hazel. The short periods of time with their father at home were always unenjoyable. It was as if everything they did was never up to their father’s standards, which he would make clear with passive aggression and side-eyed glances. He was always harsher on Nico than he was Hazel, his comments barbed and aimed to kill. It was this that crippled Nico’s sense of self worth, and made him dread spending time with his father. 

This weekend was no different. Even though Nico was fresh out of the hospital with bruised and fractured bones, he was spared no sympathy. 

The dinner table the night before was tense to say the least. All of Hazel’s attempts at conversation died as their father turned each and every one into a critique of his son. Though Nico longed to leave, it was like he was chained to his chair, and though he longed to fight back, the words wouldn’t come. 

Sunday morning, Nico awoke to the only nice thing his father did for him in his short stay: the man had gone to the pharmacy, and an orange prescription bottle of acetaminophen-codeine was waiting on their kitchen counter. The day continued on as normal after that, Nico’s self esteem plummeting further every hour his father was there. His predicament was made yet worse as he studiously avoided Jason’s efforts to reach out to him. He wanted to tell Jason just how shitty being at home was, tell him how glad he was to finally get prescription painkillers, and most of all, he wanted to tell Jason how good their kiss felt. 

But he couldn’t. He would face Jason at school the next morning, and deal with the fallout he’d inevitably caused then. Though at first he really didn’t want to go to school the next morning, when his father announced that he’d be leaving for Singapore mid-Monday, Nico couldn’t wait. 

\---

Stares and whispers followed Nico as he walked to his AP US History classroom. He was incredibly aware of the ugly purple bruise stark against his pale skin, completely visible even though his hood was up. 

He caught a snippet of a conversation as he walked past, and he hated that he was drawing so much attention to himself. 

“I heard that he got mugged.” 

“In this area? Not a chance. I heard that...” the person paused, “...that his father beats him.” 

“You’re capping!”

“I don’t know, I believe it.”

Nico didn’t have a good relationship with his father, not by a long shot, but he never went so far as to lay hands on him. He preferred subtle, verbal jabs to physical ones. Nico reminded himself that he didn’t give a shit what they believed about him as he walked into class. 

He had a pounding headache, a combination of withdrawal from a lack of caffeine and the fracture in his jaw, which he was supposed to take his prescription for about every four hours. He sat down, and tried to take a pill from the bottle in his backpack as discreetly as possible. The water fountain was down the hall, and he couldn’t be bothered to go back out, so he took the pill dry. Probably not advisable, but he also couldn’t be bothered to care. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Nico saw someone sit next to him. He assumed it was the kid who normally sat there, until the person began to speak.

“Nico, I’ve been trying to reach you all weekend.”

He froze—it was Jason. Nico should have expected this, but was caught off guard nonetheless. He turned slowly, and looked Jason in the eye. The other boy was biting his lip, appearing more concerned than anything else.

“I texted Hazel, and I gather you had a pretty rough weekend, so I’m not angry or anything. I just— we need to talk.”

The most cryptic, panic inducing words one could hear: “we need to talk.”

“Right now?” Nico asked, eyes widening.

“No, class starts in like, five minutes. Maybe during lunch?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Nico said, trying to keep his voice even, as not to reveal how terrified he was. 

“Meet me by the benches outside the cafeteria.” At that, Jason got up and went to his seat, and just a minute later, the start bell rang.

Nico’s mind raced with possibilities of what Jason wanted to talk about. He knew that the events of Friday would be priority number one, but he really didn’t know what Jason would say. He’d been anticipating rejection, anger, etcetera, but he didn’t know for sure. 

Mr. D began the lesson, but Nico’s mind was far from the shores of Normandy beach, fixed on the impending conversation. He realized that he’d never explicitly told Jason he was gay—Jason was probably confused, and probably straight. 

The next few periods passed agonizingly slowly. Nico didn’t want to face the fate he knew was coming, but the apprehension was about to kill him. When fifth period finally arrived, Nico made a beeline to the bench near the water fountains. He was nauseous, the result of his nerves, hunger, and codeine compounding. He took a sip from the lead filled water fountains, which did little to help. Nico sat and sucked in a deep breath, hoping to calm the roiling in his abdomen. 

“Nico?”

Nico’s head whipped to his left, to see Jason leaning on the wall next to the bench. He regretted the motion when a fresh wave of nausea surged, accompanied by dizziness. Unconsciously, he cupped his face in his hands, applying pressure to the bridge of his nose.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?”

Jason knelt in front of him, and placed a reassuring hand on his knee. 

“I’m just,” Nico gulped, “just a little nauseous. I think it’s the meds I’m on.”

Jason paused, then said, “Have you eaten today?”

As they got closer, Jason became acquainted with Nico’s nonexistent appetite. It disappeared about two months before, right after Percy’s accident, and had never quite returned. Nico had never been one to eat a ton—unusual for a teenage boy—but his new habits were verging on unhealthy. 

Hazel did her best to help, making nutritious dinners whenever she had time, but with her own life to take care of, she wasn’t able to do much more. When Jason picked up on it, he never forced Nico to eat. He would offer Nico granola bars whenever they walked home together, who would only eat them once in a while. Jason always had snacks around during their movie nights, which Nico picked at idly. 

He never gave Nico pity, nor did he ever ask about it, doing his best to support Nico in his own way. This silent form of care was one of the things that made Nico fall the hardest. 

“Didn’t get around to it.”

Without another word, Jason fished a crushed looking Nature Valley granola bar out of his backpack. Nico almost inhaled it. The ocean in his stomach calmed soon thereafter.

“Thank you,” Nico said. He really, truly, meant it. 

“What medication did they give you?” Jason asked, moving to sit next to Nico on the bench.

“Ramped up Tylenol,” replied Nico, remembering then that he had to take another one. 

He took out the pill bottle, and saw Jason eying it nervously. 

“Every four hours,” he said, trying to sound reassuring.

He placed a pill on his tongue, gulping it down this time with the fountain’s lead water. 

They sat an arm’s length apart, and Nico refused to meet Jason’s gaze. 

Jason cleared his throat, and began, “So, about Friday…”

He trailed off, as if looking for the right words. Before he could begin again, Nico cut him off, a surge of adrenaline making him act before he could think.

“I like you. Like, I really like you.”

He finally looked into Jason’s eyes, which had widened considerably. His mouth fell open, his face a perfect snapshot of shock. 

Nico bulldozed ahead, unable to stop, “I’ve liked you for kind of a while? And I know you probably don’t feel the same, and you’re probably straight and I’m fucking everything up by saying this.” 

His heart was racing, more alert than he had been all day. Jason was still frozen in place. With a sinking sense of déjà vu, Nico promptly left. 

He strode down the hallway as fast as he could without running, not knowing where exactly he was going. He bit the inside of his lip to keep tears from spilling down his face, not wanting to draw more attention to himself than he already had been. 

Though there were still twenty five minutes left in his lunch period, he found standing before his next class: Mr. Brunner’s classroom. He peered through the door’s window, and saw Mr. Brunner sitting at his desk. He figured he likely looked like shit, more so than usual, but he put that aside and went into the room. 

“Nico! Is everything alright?”

The second he said those words, Nico couldn’t hold it in any longer. Nico hadn’t cried at his bones throbbing in pain when Clarisse hit him, he hadn’t cried when he told Reyna everything, and sure as hell hadn’t cried in front of his father. Come to think of it, he hadn’t cried since the week Percy had died. His emotions were trapped within the confines of his mind, buzzing around like flies that he could never seem to catch. 

He used to use writing as an outlet, filling journal upon journal with thoughts, poems, stories. But especially at the beginning, when he couldn’t write without tearing off a scab that was just starting to form, the mess of emotions was too painful to untangle. 

The knot became bigger and bigger the more he held it in, and sitting there in Mr. Brunner’s classroom, the very place that had gotten him to where he was, he lost his grip.


	4. Chapter 4

If Jason Grace had a nickel for every time Nico di Angelo abandoned him mid-conversation, he would have two nickels—which isn’t a lot—but it’s weird that it had happened twice. He leaned back on the uncomfortable bench, still grappling with Nico’s confession. He had wanted to follow Nico, stop him, and talk to him, but hearing the revelation left him speechless. 

His own feelings after that Friday’s kiss were difficult to decipher, to say the least, but he had managed to convince himself that Nico would play it off as a mistake, and that they wouldn’t talk about it. He convinced himself that he would be happy with an outcome like that, where he could ignore his burgeoning sexuality crisis until it went away. 

Two months prior, he never could have imagined himself in this position. When he first met the boy, he’d wanted nothing to do with him. Their first meeting went about as well as flint striking steel, creating a bonfire that left scorch marks on their relationship. He remembered distinctly Nico storming out of the classroom, unadulterated resentment radiating off of him in waves. Funny then, how Nico, who had burned him when he got near, gradually became a warm hearth that Jason was drawn to, the initial resentment melting away into welcoming and what Jason hoped was trust. 

Jason had a lot of friends, but none quite like Nico. Nico was effortlessly smart, able to sustain conversations about more than just classes and school gossip, and his dry humor would make Jason laugh so hard that he couldn’t focus on the movies they watched. Once they had grown close, Jason found himself waiting for Nico’s name to appear on his home screen, FaceTiming him too late into the night while they “studied,” sending funny snaps to elicit one of his little smiles with the crinkle in his nose—

The more he sat, alone, on the bench outside of the cafeteria, the more confused about his feelings he became. He knew he cared about Nico, but he’d never felt so strongly for a friend unless… 

He pushed the thoughts out of his mind; denial was the easiest way to deal, and he would push his feelings away until he was ready to deal with them.

Jason would have tried to walk Nico home that day, but he had mandatory post-season conditioning with the rest of the football team. His arm wasn’t quite strong enough to do what he was usually capable of, but as captain, he had to be there. Also, it was leg day.

For the last drill that day, his coach was having them do suicide sprints—for agility and endurance—the field up to the fifty yard line marked with neon orange cones. Though suicides always made him want to throw up, he was grateful for an opportunity to process his thoughts. 

He stood at the baseline, waiting for the first wave to finish, Octavian standing next to him. Jason never understood how Octavian even made the team to begin with. He was half the size of most of the guys on the team and not even half as good at football, and he had a tendency of complaining start to finish every practice. Rumor had it that Octavian’s mother complained to their coach, threatening even to have her fired, so he had to be let on. 

“Hey, Grace!” Octavian said. 

“The fuck you want?” Jason responded, how he usually did in Octavian related matters. 

“Is it so wrong to want to make conversation with my captain?”

Jason glared at him, not in the mood.

“What do you want?” he rephrased.

“Oh, nothing, except… I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with that di Angelo kid. You know, the one with the grotty looking bruise on his face? Yeah. Anyway…”

“And why do you care?”

“Wow. Defensive. I was gonna ask if you’re like, gay for him or something. I guess you are.”

Just as Jason was about to punch Octavian into next week, he heard a whistle sound at the start of the next wave. 

Jason took off. He relished the feeling of blood coursing through his veins, his lungs filling with the brisk early spring air. As he got into a rhythm of running, his thoughts began to wander. Though he wanted to imagine all the ways he would kill Octavian, Jason’s mind instead went to the last thing Octavian had said.

The idea that he was attracted to Nico was one he dashed every single time. He would tell himself that Nico was just a friend, albeit a very close one, and that he’d only dated girls before. Hell, Jason had even lost his virginity to a girl the previous summer. But, no matter how many times he reminded himself of these facts, another part of him would bring up how beautiful Nico was. It would flood his mind with images of Nico’s dark eyes with their dark lashes, Nico’s hands—which weren’t much smaller than his own—that looked like they were carved by Rodin, Nico’s sharp, angular jaw. 

Jason sped up, as if to run away, but he didn’t want to run away from Nico the way Nico had run from him. He wanted to be planted on his living room couch, shoulder to shoulder with Nico di Angelo, and a small part of himself that was slowly growing in magnitude wanted them to be more. 

When Jason returned to the baseline, having completed his tenth and final rep, he felt good. His legs felt like jelly and his lungs burned, but he achieved some of the clarity that came with intense exercise. He jogged over to his coach, who was timing the drill.

“That was really impressive, Grace! Fastest I’ve ever seen you, or the rest of the team for that matter.”

A few of the other members, guys that Jason had been with since day one, came up to give him good natured slaps on the back.

“Damn, bro, you fuckin’ bolted!” Charlie Beckendorf said, punching him in the arm.

“I think I’m gonna pass out, bro,” Jason said, laying down on the turf. Charlie nudged his side with his sneaker, laughed, and then walked off to change when the whistle sounded once more, marking the end of practice. 

The turf scratched at Jason’s arms, but he was content laying there. His muscles burned pleasantly as he stared into the partly cloudy sky. He could have spent the entire afternoon there if not for the fact that it was a Monday. 

After a few more moments of tranquility, and the field had mostly emptied, Jason hauled himself to his feet. He decided he would walk home in his sweat dampened shirt and workout shorts, not wanting to change. When he got to the locker room to grab the rest of his things, he saw that most of the people who were once there had long since left. He didn’t mind the emptiness, not really up for banter.

Rather than leaving through the football field from the locker room as he usually did, he went back into the school, remembering then that he’d forgotten a book in his locker. His English class had just finished reading excerpts from Whitman’s _Leaves of Grass_ , and had received their assignment earlier that day.

When they started the unit weeks before, Nico mentioned that Whitman was one of his favorite poets. _Song of Myself_ , specifically, Jason learned, was a friend that Nico returned to time and time again, excavating more of its nuances and intricacies with every read. 

They would do the assigned reading together once in a while, but more often than he read himself, he would watch Nico read. His brows, dark and strong, would furrow in concentration as he pored over his battered copy, and he would squeeze tiny notes into the cluttered margins at least once a page. Jason enjoyed watching Nico far more than wading through Whitman’s stanzas, seeing the words come to life in Nico’s eyes as opposed to on the page. 

His backpack hanging off one shoulder, Jason’s steps echoed through the corridor. Most classrooms were empty, their doors shut and lights off, others filled with students from various clubs. Music was playing somewhere, faint sounds of harmonies and piano trickling through the halls. It occurred to Jason, as he reached his locker, that the music was likely coming from the theater, its occupants rehearsing for the school’s spring musical. 

They were putting on Legally Blonde, and Jason was planning on attending. Piper was the lead, as she almost always was, her stage presence near overwhelming. Even as a freshman, Piper had dazzled audiences, laying the foundation for her reputation as one of the most undeniably talented people at school. Early on, she and Jason dated, but quickly realized that they were better off as friends. They remained close ever since; just that past weekend, he called her in the middle of the night, scared to death that he’d lost yet another person close to him. She’d consoled him, her steady, chiming voice calming his pulse. 

As if she knew he was thinking about her, Piper appeared at the end of the hallway as Jason closed his locker. She noticed him just as he did her, and called out to him.

He jogged over to her, despite the ache that had just begun sinking into Jason’s muscles. 

“How’s the show?” he asked, aware that tech week was soon approaching, and that this was when she was the most stressed. 

“Could be better,” she admitted, “but it’s really coming together. It’s gonna be a great show.”

“Nice! Can’t wait to see it,” he said, smiling at her pride.

“How’s the whole Nico thing?”

His smile vanished, replaced by his vulnerability.

“Not well, I take it?” 

“Could be better,” he said, imitating her words.

“Talk to me.”

“We sort of talked during lunch.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah. He spilled his guts and left before I could respond. He told me he _likes_ me, and I was kind of, like, not able to respond for a bit, but he was gone just like that. I tried not to think about it, but I…” he trailed off.

Piper’s eyes, an amalgam of colors that Jason could never quite discern, prompted him to continue.

“During practice today, Octavian said something about me being gay for Nico? And I was super uncomfortable because he has no right to my business… but then I couldn’t stop thinking about Nico, and how much I wanted—want—to be near him…” he trailed off once more, unable to articulate what he wanted to say.

“Have you considered the possibility that you want to be near him because you _like_ him too?”

In a single sentence, Jason’s feelings, which he had been trying to deny, were laid bare. Jason resisted the urge to bite his nails, an old nervous habit he kicked a long time ago that only returned when he was more than a little afraid. He could tell Piper sensed the fear.

“Jason, look at me.”

He obliged.

“I know you’re scared, but your fear of losing him shows just how much love you have for him. The more you try to deny it to yourself, the more it’ll hurt both of you.”

He stared back for a long time, internalizing her advice. She squeezed his hand, and pulled him into a hug. 

“Thank you,” he whispered into her ear.

“I know, dumbass. Now go get your mans.”

Piper pulled away, and made her way back to the theater. He watched her go, grateful to have a friend like her. Jason turned to the direction he’d been facing when she arrived, and his blood ran cold. 

Just before the intersection of halls, an apparition against white walls and gray, linoleum floors, stood Nico di Angelo. Jason couldn’t fathom how their hug must’ve looked to him, hurt and betrayal scrawled across his face. 

“Fuck you, Grace,” Nico spat, and as he did the very first time they met, he stormed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first line of this chapter is a Phineas and Ferb reference. That is all :))


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Nico finally figured out what was wrong with his data types problem, the only people left in the computer science lab were him and a senior his teacher had left to “supervise.” Nico had initially gone because he couldn’t see the bugs for the life of him, but the senior hadn’t been much help, preferring to play League on the school’s PCs. So, Nico resorted to going through his code line by line. After two hours, to his supreme frustration, he found a minute syntax error that he must have missed the past eight times he read through the code.

He usually didn’t take so long to find issues like that, having learned Java well enough to see what was wrong intuitively, but his mind was far from the screen in front of him, unable to focus no matter how hard he tried. More of a humanities nerd, Nico never thought he’d like comp sci. To his surprise, though, the systematic, cut and dry solutions to most of the problems he encountered gave him a sense of control that he came to crave. That afternoon though, sitting in a too cold classroom with the code swimming and the blue light beginning to give him a headache, he felt more out of control than ever.

He attempted the next problem in the assignment, but to his dismay, he kept making stupid mistakes that his usually meticulous eye didn’t allow. No matter how he tried to distract himself, his mind spiraled back to Jason. Fed up, Nico decided to just go home and leave the problem for later that evening. The senior looked relieved when Nico stood up, not wanting to have been stuck there for as long as he was.

However, he wished he’d stayed just a few minutes longer when he saw the one and only Jason Grace hugging a girl. Not just any girl, but Piper McLean—the prettiest, most popular girl in the school. Nico knew that she and Jason were close, but he never knew quite the extent of their relationship until that moment. 

He wished that he hadn’t seen the way Jason’s arms wrapped around her lower back, pressing her body into his, smiling into her embrace as if there was no place he’d rather be. He wished he wasn’t rooted in place, because he wouldn’t have seen him whisper into her ear, wouldn’t have seen her chuckle and respond just as intimately. A thousand emotions, a conglomeration of jealousy, longing, betrayal, and so much else, rushed into him at once. They only intensified as he watched him watch her leave, and a sharp, overpowering wave of anger washed over him.

When Jason finally saw him, clearly stunned by his presence, the wave crashed; Nico had no intention of holding it back. 

“Fuck you, Grace,” he landed on, venom dripping off every syllable. With that, he turned on his heel and left. The image of Jason’s arms, one paler than the other but both covered in golden hair, holding Piper as if she was the most important person in the world, was burned into Nico’s retinas. 

He registered Jason calling for him, following him as he stomped away. Nico tuned him out, knowing that anything Jason said would do nothing to placate the hurricane brewing inside him. He whirled around, and let it loose.

“Cut the shit. I really don’t wanna hear it right now. I should have known you have feelings for Piper. Captain of the football team, lead in the musical—perfect High School Musical type shit! Really, joke’s on me for ever thinking I had a chance with you.”

Nico smiled, something cruel, sharp, and nothing like he’d ever given Jason before. His vulnerability shone through as well, like that of a wounded animal.

“Look. Being friends with you is one of the best things that ever happened to me, but I _need_ to get over you. I think what’s best for me, at least, is taking a break from us—you—whatever.”

Jason caught Nico’s gaze and held it for a moment that felt like an eon. Nico could tell that Jason was caught between wanting to speak and not knowing how to respond, with guilt plain as day in his eyes. The other boy simply nodded, nibbling on the thumbnail of his right hand, and let Nico walk out of his life.

That was Monday. Until Friday, there was radio silence between them. Knowing each other’s schedules so well, they knew exactly how to avoid each other. Nico felt a little guilty for not giving Jason an opportunity to say anything, acknowledging the immaturity of his actions, but that he could live with. He wished he’d never grown to like Jason in that way, love him even, missing the little things about their friendship. The week was rough; he receded from his friends, and the mottled, magenta bruise on his face made people want to be near him even less than before. It was reminiscent of a time he hadn’t wanted to return to, one he hoped would pass much sooner than the first. 

His evenings were the most lonely. Hazel knew he didn’t want to talk about it, giving him space as she knew he wouldn’t let her in. Hours that he used to spend doing homework or chatting with Jason over the phone were left empty, gathering dust from disuse. 

He’d neglected the majority of his schoolwork that week, but his teachers didn’t seem to mind all that much, chalking it up to the obvious injury he sported. Thursday evening, he decided to take a crack at Mr. Brunner’s Whitman assignment, a way to keep himself somewhat distracted, and a way for him to feel less idle. 

A departure from the usual analytical essay, Mr. Brunner was asking his students to look inwards, to contribute their own verses and create their own _Song of Myself_. What Nico thought would be a welcome distraction ended up reeling in the slack in his tether to Jason. He knew that he had to write about Jason—the past few months of his life and everything that came with them. 

Sitting at his desk, Nico started to write, not stopping until page upon page filled with the way his love changed, grew, and now stood at death’s door. 

During lunch that Friday, Nico had trouble staying awake. He’d been up the night before until the sun began to creep through the trees, which is when he finally stopped writing. The brain dump before him was much longer than Mr. Brunner was expecting, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The catharsis that rose inside of him when everything was written out was worth it. 

He watched the dark sky lighten slowly, becoming a rich, royal blue to usher in the sun. Birds sang from their perches in the trees planted throughout the neighborhood, trees that had just begun to sprout leaves as the weather warmed. It struck Nico how beautiful the scene outside his bedroom window was, and for the first time in a long time, for a moment so brief it might not have happened, he felt nothing but contentment.

That moment felt far away when Nico’s head drooped as if there was a weight attached to his chin, the nasty spaghetti and meat sauce on his lunch tray far less nice to look at. He was at the table alone, watching his friends’ things as they waited on line for lunch, having arrived later than him. 

Nico felt a hand lightly brush his shoulder, and turned, expecting Will or Hazel to be standing beside him. Instead, it was—

“Jason?” Nico yelped, caught completely off guard.

“Nico, I can’t take this anymore,” Jason said. Nico gave him a onceover, and pity surged within him. His usually neatly styled hair looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in days, he was wearing a hoodie (Jason _never_ wore hoodies), and his nails were jagged and short. 

“Come over tonight. We’ll watch a movie, and we’re going to talk.”

It was less of a request and more of an order. Combined with how much he missed the other boy, seeing the state Jason was in made it hard to refuse.

“Okay,” said Nico.

“I’ll meet you by your locker after school.” 

The walk to Jason’s house bordered on unbearable. Their mutual discomfort was palpable, and neither of them wanted to breach the silence festering between them. Every time he snuck a glance at Jason, who walked an arm’s length away, his gaze was always fixed somewhere else, as if he was scanning the houses across the street for something he’d been looking for. 

They finally arrived, after a walk that felt three times the length Nico was used to, and Jason was the first to say anything.

“Thalia is staying with a friend in Boston for the weekend,” he said, for no reason in particular.

“Cool,” Nico responded, more of a grunt than a word, unsure how to respond. 

Usually they sat right next to each other, Jason’s arm thrown casually over the back of the couch behind Nico’s shoulders. Now, they each sat pressed against an arm of the couch, like they were leaving space for someone else to sit between them. The usual snacks sat on the coffee table, but neither he nor Jason made any moves to eat. 

When the movie began, a soft gasp escaped Nico’s throat before he could stop it. He couldn’t recall ever telling Jason what his favorite movie was, but Jason must have known him well enough to infer. The feelings for Jason that he’d been trying to forget about for the past week came flooding back.

Years ago, the very first time Nico watched _Dead Poets Society_ , it had struck a chord within him. The effortless camaraderie amongst the boys, the embracing of being true to oneself, Neil’s relationship with his father, the references to Whitman, Robin Williams’s entire character—all of it had touched Nico so deeply that he couldn’t get it out of his head for a week. He saw himself in the movie; he saw parts of who he was, and who he wanted to be. 

He looked over his shoulder to where Jason was sitting, noticed the ghost of an earnest smile on his lips. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for him. 

As the movie wore on, the uncomfortable silence that had permeated their walk to Jason’s house slowly melted into some semblance of the atmosphere they usually had during movie nights. The living room fell away into the hallowed halls of Welton Academy. Nico was so invested that at the film’s climax—where Neil peers out of his window into the snowy landscape beyond—he unconsciously reached for Jason’s hand, which was resting on the couch cushion between them. 

He didn’t even realize he had done it until he felt Jason’s rough palm squeeze his. He knew he should have pulled away, but squeezed back. Their hands remained that way until the end of the movie, and as the credits rolled, the silence crept back in. 

“Hey, Nico, can I talk to you for a sec?” Jason said, softly, their hands still loosely joined.

Nico nodded, the barest hint of a movement.

“Look, what you saw Monday… Piper and I are just friends.” 

The heat in Jason’s voice was more than enough to convince Nico that it was true.

“She was actually giving me advice, well, about you.”

Nico’s heart skipped a beat as Jason leveled a stare at him. He briefly considered cutting off the conversation there, willing to live without knowing why, but Jason’s hand in his glued him to the couch.

“She was?”

“Nico… since _that_ Friday… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. And when you told me how you feel, I was speechless because… well, I realized it’s because I want to be more than friends with you.”

Jason took Nico’s other hand and scooted toward him.

“I love all the little things about you, and this past week, it was so hard to not have you around. I know things have been weird but… would you be willing to—”

“Yes. A million times yes. I’ve liked you for so long, and it hurt so much when I thought I’d have to get over you, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it and—”

This time, Jason cut _him_ off. In one fluid motion, he pulled Nico into a soft kiss, much like the first one they’d shared. Though the kiss lasted for only a moment, Nico wanted to commit every part of it to memory: the feeling of Jason’s chapped lips pressed against his, his large hand cupping the back of his neck, his long fingers threaded through the hair at the base of his skull.

When they broke apart, Jason’s hand remained where it was. Nico’s arms had been trapped between them, but he freed them to hug Jason harder than he’d ever hugged another person. Jason’s other arm moved to Nico’s lower back, holding him against his broad chest as if he were a precious object he couldn’t bear to let go of. 

Nico buried his face into Jason’s shoulder, the faint smell of fabric softener and the cologne Jason wore clinging to the black Champion sweater Jason was wearing. 

“You smell nice,” Nico whispered into the shell of Jason’s ear.

Jason shuddered in Nico’s arms, the feeling of Nico’s breath eliciting a reaction he didn’t expect. He pulled away for a moment, and Nico could see that his pupils had dilated so much that his blue irises were barely visible. 

“Fuck,” Jason growled, before capturing Nico’s lips in another kiss. This one was different from the first. Though Jason was being careful, aware of Nico’s jaw, the kiss had an urgency that could only be the result of desire. 

Nico knew that Jason was more experienced than himself, with his fair share of past girlfriends and occasional hookups. However, knowing about his experience and being on the receiving end of it were two very different things. Jason hadn’t been his first kiss (that had been a summer camp thing that he wished he could forget), but the way he nipped at Nico’s lower lip and ran his hand through Nico’s hair made him forget that he had to reciprocate. This was a new side of Jason, one Nico had never seen before. 

They broke apart, and Nico remembered that he needed to get air into his lungs. The smile that stretched across Jason’s face was a million things at once, simultaneously content and sharp, as if to say _‘You like that? I know I did.’_

“You’re beautiful,” Jason breathed.

A blush dusted Nico’s cheeks, and Jason’s smile widened. He pressed one more kiss to the corner of Jason’s lips, right on the tiny scar, and sat back. His gaze swept over the boy sitting before him, all swollen lips and sharp angles and white teeth and strong musculature. If anyone was beautiful, it was Jason.

The moment ended when Nico’s phone, which had been resting on the coffee table near the long forgotten bowl of kettle corn, began to vibrate. It was closer to Jason, whose fingers brushed Nico’s when he handed it to him.

“Hazel?” 

“It’s just about time for dinner. Where are you?”

“Oh, uh, I’m at Jason’s, actually.”

Silence, then, “Huh?”

Hazel knew that something had happened, and expected Nico home that Friday.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“More than okay,” he answered.

“You can stay, if you want, but I made dinner…” 

“I’ll be there.”

He hung up, and addressed Jason.

“I gotta get going.”

“Hazel?”

“Yeah.”

“This was really nice. Like _really_ really nice.”

“It _really_ really was.”

“Can I walk you home?”

“I would like that.”

Unlike the walk there, there was next to no space between them. Their fingers were interlaced, Jason’s steak fry fingers between Nico’s long, slender ones. It was much colder, the sun having set hours before. Nico shivered in his too thin Cavetown hoodie, even though Jason’s palm was hot against his own. 

Jason must have noticed because all of a sudden, his varsity jacket, which he’d thrown on before they left was around Nico’s shoulders. 

“Jason—” Nico protested.

“Don’t mention it.”

Nico pulled the sleeves over his arms, their hems going past his finger tips. He wasn’t short, but as Jason was taller and broader than him, the jacket hung off of his frame. 

“Looks good on you,” Jason said, clearly pleased with himself. 

“Thanks,” Nico said, knowing that the blush was back on his face. 

When they got to Nico’s house, Jason drew him into a hug. Once again, Nico could smell the fabric softener and cologne, his face tucked against Jason’s chest. They kissed again, this time a chaste peck.

“If you’re okay with it, can I take you out tomorrow?” 

Butterflies danced in Nico’s stomach.

“Like, on a date?”

“Yes?”

“I would love that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left, then a lil bonus chapter! Also—the Whitman assignment that Mr. Brunner gives them is stolen from when my own English class read _Leaves of Grass_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I last updated this fic, but here's the latest chapter! There's definitely some fluff, but it's also NC-17 ;)  
> Also, this chapter is dedicated to Luca.

“You look great!”

“You really think so?”

“Nico, you look hot.” 

Nico bit the inside of his cheek, inspecting the outfit Hazel helped him choose in the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t anything fancy—they were going to a diner, not a Michelin star restaurant—but it did look like he had put in some effort. His straight cut jeans fit just the right way, cutting off above the ankle to reveal the socks they’d matched to his color block sweater. He usually stuck to black or neutral tones, but Hazel insisted on a splash of color. 

The second he walked through the door the night before, Hazel demanded that he tell her everything. She could barely contain her excitement when he told her that Jason asked him out on a proper date, and her glee only grew when he asked for help choosing an outfit the following afternoon. 

Now standing there, before the mirror, Nico couldn’t tell whether the feeling in his chest was excitement or anxiety. Jason was going to be there in fifteen minutes, and Nico couldn’t stop fidgeting. 

“It’s gonna be great,” Hazel said when he fussed with his hair for the millionth time. 

“I know,” he took in a deep breath, “I’m just a bit nervous is all.”

He knew he was being irrational, but he wanted things to go well because he didn’t want Jason to change his mind. Though Jason’s confession had been heartfelt and followed by kisses he wasn’t sure were even real, Nico’s self doubt reared its ugly head. His hand itched to run through his hair, to shake his locks out from where they were tucked behind his ears. Just when Nico was about to burst with restless energy, the doorbell rang. 

“Coming!” Nico yelled, sprinting to the front door and grabbing Jason’s varsity Jacket from where it rested on the couch. Nico swung the door open, and when he saw the boy standing in the doorway, his breath hitched.

The worn, tan Carhartt work jacket that Jason wore was open, revealing a henley that hugged his form and accentuated the fact that Jason definitely worked out. More so than his outfit, the bashful smile on his face made Nico’s heart skip a beat.

“Hey,” Jason said, his tone echoing the way Nico felt.

“Hi,” Nico responded. 

“You guys can stand there staring at each other, or you can go and have fun,” Hazel interrupted.

“Alright, alright, I’ll see you later.”

“Have fun!” she called, and they were off.

The evening was cool for early April. Wind whistled through the trees that lined each block, making the night feel colder than it really was. Because they weren’t driving, they would walk a few miles to the diner. There wasn’t much around if you couldn’t drive; besides the diner, there was a shopping center ten minutes away by car, a Stop and Shop in the opposite direction, and a smattering of mom and pop shops and restaurants where there weren’t strip malls. 

It was very Long Island suburbia: better if you had a car, but not totally impossible to walk. Houses looked more or less the same, with a few distinguishing features like neatly cropped hedges, window boxes with tulips, statues of the Virgin Mary, a bike with training wheels left on the front lawn and a pink helmet right beside it. Nico supposed that the touches of personality were unconscious ways to demonstrate identity in the anonymity of a cookie cutter neighborhood. 

He pointed this out to Jason, almost completely out the blue, plunging them into conversation until they arrived at the diner. Nico appreciated Jason for not questioning or making fun of an observation like that, for responding to it instead. Jason was smarter than he was given credit for, with most people writing him off as a dumb jock before he even opened his mouth. Nico had bought into that assumption too, and Jason proved it wrong over and over again. 

Delilah’s Diner was across the street from a gas station, in a still mostly residential area. The parking lot had only a few cars, sparse for a Saturday evening. A bell jangled as Jason opened the door, which he held open for Nico. The hostess led them to a booth where they sat across from each other, in true first date fashion. 

Nico watched Jason studying the menu. His cheeks were flushed from walking in the cold, and there was a slight crease between his brows from concentration. 

“I think I want breakfast,” Jason said finally.

“Breakfast?”

“Come on. You go to a diner and you get breakfast.”

“Not true! You could get burgers, soups, salads, and,” Nico said pointing to the menu, “lobster ravioli in alfredo sauce.”

“I’ll give you burgers but there’s no way I’d get lobster at a diner.”

“What are you getting, then?”

“Chocolate chip pancakes with a side of bacon,” said Jason with a grin.

“What are you, five?”

“Pancakes are awesome. Ultimate breakfast of champions.”

Nico laughed when Jason flexed an arm as he spoke. 

“You know what? I’m gonna get the ravioli.”

“You wouldn’t. You'll get food poisoning.”

“Bet!”

When a waitress finally came to take their order, they were arguing about whether pizza counted as a kind of toast.

Jason, who was fighting a losing battle, said loudly, “Isn’t pizza technically bread with shit on top? Like—”

“Uh, sorry to interrupt, but are you ready to order?”

Nico had to grip the table to keep from laughing when Jason’s mouth clacked shut, his face tinged pink from embarrassment. The waitress turned to Nico, a small smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’ll take the lobster ravioli with alfredo sauce?”

“Alright, and you?”

“Chocolate chip pancakes with a side of bacon, please,” Jason responded.

“Will that be all?”

Nico couldn’t help but say, “I don’t know, Jason, do you want some pizza?”

Jason shot him a glare, his flush darkening. 

“No, we’re fine,” he said, addressing the waitress. 

The second the waitress was out of sight, they both burst into laughter, starting a feedback loop that strengthened until Nico was gasping for breath. 

Their date went on that way, a steady flow of conversation, jokes, and grins that projected just how much they were enjoying each other’s presence. Even while eating, when they were somewhat quiet, there was never the awkward silence that usually accompanies first dates. Instead, the fact that their relationship had taken on a new tone only made what they already had even better. 

It wasn’t romantic in the way that new lovebirds tend to be either, full of fleeting smiles and saccharine compliments, but romantic in a lived in, comfortable, familiar way. Rather than an unpredictable raging fire, Nico felt a warm, steady flame.

When the waitress from before brought them their check, she brought with it a milkshake with two straws.

“On the house,” she said, winking at them before placing the check on the table and walking back to the kitchen. 

“Move over,” Jason said, and went to sit next to Nico. The leather booth was barely large enough to fit both of them, but when Jason’s hand found his underneath the table, he suddenly didn’t care that it was so cramped. They sat in amicable silence for until the milkshake had drained, leaving a maraschino cherry sitting at the bottom.

Nico wordlessly pushed the cup so that it was sitting in front of Jason, a silent offering, earning him a beam in response.

“I love these,” Jason said, tilting the cup so he could grab the cherry’s stem.

“You do?”

“You don’t?”

“Nah, not really.”

“Good. You’re perfect to share shakes with, then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you don’t like the cherry on top but I do, so we never have to fight over it. Perfect pair.”

A blush appeared high on Nico’s cheeks at the way Jason said “perfect pair,” as if he couldn’t think of anyone else who’d fit the bill. Jason’s large grin had softened into something tender, and Nico caught Jason’s tongue darting out to wet his lips.

At that moment, he couldn’t think of anything else to do but capture those lips in a kiss. As he was about to lean in, though, Jason moved away.

“Wait, watch this,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eye.

He grabbed the maraschino’s stem from where he had deposited it on a napkin, and promptly put it in his mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Nico asked.

Jason held out his hand, telling him to wait. Nico was confused. The boy he’d gone on a date with, who just a few seconds ago looked good enough to kiss right in the diner booth, stuck the stem of a fucking maraschino cherry in his mouth.

Just when Nico was about to ask him, once again, what he was doing, he spit it out.

“Ta-da!” Jason said, looking extremely pleased with himself.

“What… what am I supposed to be looking at?”

“It’s a knot.” 

“... Okay?”

“I mean, I tied the stem into a knot with my tongue,” he clarified, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

“Oh! _Oh _.”__

__The blush returned in full force at the implication._ _

__“It’s not the only thing I can do with my tongue,” Jason said, sidling closer to Nico._ _

__Nico’s eyes widened, the urge to kiss the boy sitting next to him stronger than ever. This time, Jason leaned in, but once again, they were interrupted._ _

__“Well, well, well! What do we have here.”_ _

__As if he couldn’t be even more of a stereotypical high school antagonist than he already was, Octavian strolled up to their booth, a few cronies trailing behind him, and planted his hands right on the table. Octavian wasn’t the strongest, largest, nor the smartest, yet he still acted like he was a feared bully._ _

__Before either of them could figure out how to respond, he continued speaking._ _

__“Who knew that the captain of our football team was gay! Can’t believe that I’ve been sharing a locker room with a homo this whole time.”_ _

__He sneered down his too high up nose at them, the fact that he was standing the only reason he was taller than both Nico and Jason. Nico wasn’t quite sure how to respond, caught somewhere between shock and anger. Jason, however, looked squarely in the realm of extremely pissed. The set of his jaw, the jut of his chin, the way his brows furrowed over his cold gaze—Octavian fucked with the wrong guy._ _

__Jason turned slowly, getting to his feet._ _

__“What did you say?”_ _

__Octavian seemed to be oblivious to the waves of fury radiating off of Jason, and ploughed on._ _

__“I said that I can’t believe our captain’s been gay this whole time,” he said, intoning gay as if it were a dirty word._ _

__“What of it?” Jason snarled._ _

__“I don’t know, I just don’t want you getting all handsy with us. I like feeling safe in the locker room.”_ _

__How cliché, Nico thought, the anger overpowering anything he’d been feeling previously. He was surprised that Jason hadn’t yet socked Octavian. Nico would have._ _

__“You know, Octavian, I just realized something about you.” Jason’s voice was dangerously low._ _

__“What? That I’m hot or something?” Octavian’s self assured smirk belied his stupidity._ _

__“Your mouth looks a lot like an asshole—you can’t really tell the difference with how much bullshit comes out of it.”_ _

__Jason straightened to his full height, looking every bit like the imposing, able to bench who knew how much, frankly frightening football player he was. Silence settled in like fog on a beach in the morning, and Octavian finally seemed to realize what he’d done. Jason usually wouldn’t have been able to take Octavian and his friends, but in this state, he definitely could._ _

__“Get away from me fa—”_ _

__Before Octavian could say it, Jason shoved him, hard. He loomed over Octavian, and Nico swore that Jason was about to kick him. Instead, he turned to Nico._ _

__“Let’s go. I’d beat up this piece of shit, but I'm not about to stoop to his level.”_ _

__He pulled a wad of bills out of his wallet, more than was probably necessary, and left it on the table for the nice waitress who’d served them. Nico followed Jason out of the diner, not quite sure what to make of what had happened._ _

__When they got outside, the tension in Jason’s shoulders melted away. His face, which had been twisted in rage just a minute ago, looked deflated, the bravado that had buoyed him had disappeared. Nico felt tendrils of guilt blossom within him._ _

__“Look, Jason, this kind of stuff is probably going to keep happening and I know it’s shitty but if you don’t want to keep doing this, I’d understand.”_ _

__The guilt only sunk in further, turning his stomach inside out. Jason looked at him a long time, something that was guarded but weary and determined all the same._ _

__“Nico, until those assholes showed up, I was having a great time. And,” he swallowed thickly, “and if you’ll have me, I really don’t want this to stop.”_ _

__In lieu of responding, Nico pushed his arms under Jason’s and wrapped them around his broad chest. In an instant, he felt those arms curl around him, one around his shoulder blades and the other clutching his lower back._ _

__“So…?” Jason said into Nico’s hair, the question going unsaid._ _

__“Of course I don’t either, Jason.” Nico said, his voice muffled by the soft fabric of Jason’s shirt._ _

__They stayed that way for a while, holding each other, illuminated by the golden light of the streetlamps overhead._ _

__“Let’s go back to my place,” Jason whispered, almost conspiratorially._ _

__“Huh?”_ _

__“Thal’s out this weekend. Boston, remember? And I don’t want this date to be over yet, so let’s go!”_ _

__This was unlike any other time Nico had walked with Jason to his house. All those other walks had occurred under the pretense of friendship—just two friends hanging out—but now, there was an undercurrent of something more that made butterflies flutter in his chest cavity._ _

__Nico could only nod, allowing himself to be pulled along by Jason’s firm grip. His mouth quirked up in a dazed smile, a product of the excited apprehension wreaking havoc in his stomach._ _

__When they finally arrived at Jason’s doorstep, he fumbled with his keys. It was nice to know that he echoed Nico’s own feelings. Even though the house was dark, Nico had been there more than enough times to be able to flop down on Jason’s sofa. Lupa’s collar jangled as she bounded over, licking at Nico’s palms as if they were the most delicious treats she could want._ _

__Nico busied himself with running his hands through Lupa’s thick fur, enjoying the way her tail thumped back and forth happily. Jason joined Nico, having deposited his keys and jacket in the kitchen. Nico still wore Jason’s varsity jacket, not really wanting to take it off._ _

__Jason’s thigh was flush against his own, and his arm was thrown behind Nico so that his thumb could rub lazy circles into his shoulder._ _

__“Wanna watch a movie?” Jason asked innocuously._ _

__“Sure.”_ _

__“Which one?”_ _

__“Whatever you want.”_ _

__Jason quickly clicked on some shitty Hallmark-esque Christmas movie on Netflix. Not even five minutes in, Nico couldn’t focus on the movie. Jason was downright infernal, his body heat like a bonfire next to him. The hand on his shoulder moved to rest on the back of his neck, and Nico fought not to melt into the touch._ _

__The rough pads of Jason’s fingertips found their way into the short strands of hair at the base of Nico’s skull. His thumb moved slowly along the skin just behind Nico’s ear, and Nico shivered. He kept his eyes trained on the movie, quashing his urge to say fuck all and kiss Jason._ _

__Jason’s hand continued to move, a finger tracing the line of his throat over his Adam’s apple and into the divot of his collarbone. The touch left a trail of flame in its wake, and Nico knew his cheeks must have been stained red._ _

__The finger moved to lightly touch Nico’s chin, turning his face away from the television screen to look at him. A lazy grin pulled at Jason’s lips—he knew exactly how he made Nico feel. Nico caught Jason’s eyes flitting down to Nico’s lips before meeting his eyes._ _

__“Can I kiss you?” Jason asked, running his thumb over Nico’s lip. Nico knew that Jason had done this before, but fuck those moves worked._ _

__Nico breathed out a yes in response, his heart hammering in anticipation._ _

__The kiss was slow and sure. Jason’s hand rested lightly against the side of his face, and Nico could tell he was taking care not to press too hard on the bruise that still remained. Jason deepened the kiss, tilting Nico’s head back and doing this thing with his tongue and his jaw that would have made Nico’s knees buckle if they weren’t sitting._ _

__Nico felt like putty against Jason’s mouth, allowing the other boy to erase any thoughts but him from his brain. He let out a small, involuntary sound, and Jason pulled away, the lazy grin back in its place._ _

__“Having fun?”_ _

__“No, not at all,” Nico responded, managing to be sarcastic even while his brain was short circuiting._ _

__“Well, I’d hate to bore you,” Jason said, his husky voice sending shivers down Nico’s spine._ _

__“Entertain me then,” he said. He was proud of himself for how smoothly he was flirting back._ _

__Rather than return to Nico’s eager lips, he pressed his lips just under the hinge of Nico’s jaw._ _

__“Is this okay?” Jason asked._ _

__Nico couldn’t even verbally respond, opting for a bob of his head in affirmation. As his finger had just minutes before, Jason’s mouth trailed down Nico’s neck. Nico leaned against the arm of the couch, and swung his legs onto the cushions. Jason pulled away, only to settle himself between Nico’s legs and continue where he left off._ _

__If Nico had been told a couple months before that he would be lying on Jason Grace’s couch with said boy looming over him, kissing down his neck and leaving heat blooming in his wake, stirring arousal deep in the pit of his stomach, Nico wouldn’t have believed it._ _

__Yet, with his back on the soft couch cushions, his breath coming in gasps, Jason’s large hands on his shoulders, with every sense alight, it couldn’t have felt more real. Jason pushed his hands under both the collar of his own varsity jacket, and that of Nico’s sweater. Nico got the memo, shrugging the jacket off of his shoulders, letting it pool around his elbows._ _

__Jason’s lips returned to his mouth, the places where his skin met Nico’s searing hot._ _

__Nico felt that same heat pooling in the pit of his stomach, as if all the blood in his body decided to migrate south._ _

__Jason pulled away, and the sudden rush of cool air was dizzying. Nico felt disoriented without Jason, but just as disoriented with Jason pressed against his chest — a state of dizziness punctuated by arousal. The other boy tugged off his shirt, revealing expanses of unblemished skin, the hard planes of abdomen, and the finely spun golden hair that thickened into a trail leading straight into his jeans._ _

__Light, a combination of streetlamps and the soft light of the moon, spilled into the living room, peeking through the curtains. Jason’s hair was illuminated by the natural light, a halo manifesting above his head. Nico fought the urge to reach up and run his hands through the soft looking strands, instead letting Jason press him back into the couch._ _

__“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jason said, his rough hand toying with the hem of Nico’s sweater, before slipping underneath and coming to rest on the jut of Nico’s hipbone._ _

__Jason began to litter kisses along the side of his neck, and a moan escaped Nico’s body before he could manage to make out any words._ _

__“Is,” he panted, “is that enough of a yes for you?” The blue of Jason’s irises was almost completely eclipsed by his dilated pupils, and he pushed the sweater up until it rested beneath Nico’s armpits._ _

__“Wait,” Nico said, placing his hand on Jason’s chest. He felt Jason’s heart pushing into his skin, pressing itself against Nico’s palm. “Upstairs, now.”_ _

__Surprise at Nico’s unusual assertiveness compounded the lust that painted itself across Jason’s cheekbones, a pretty blush that softened his angular features. He took Nico’s hand and they stumbled up the stairs, Jason’s shirt long forgotten on the living room floor, the varsity jacket that had once rested around Nico’s elbows heaped on the sofa, and the offseason Christmas movie left playing on the television._ _

__Nico clumsily moved backwards into Jason’s bedroom, Jason pushing him towards the unmade bed in the corner. Locked in a dance with one another, they switched places, with Jason now nearer to the bed. Jason sat its edge and pulled Nico onto his lap. Balanced on Jason’s strong thighs, he pulled off his sweater. Nico flushed all the way down his neck at the way Jason’s gaze swept over his bare skin, at the way Jason’s breath hitched._ _

__“I…” Nico started, “I’ve never really gotten this far with anyone before.”_ _

__“I have,” Jason smiled softly. “But it doesn’t really matter. I mean,” Jason stared up at him, Nico, like a Neoclassical statue come to life, “you’re not just anyone.”_ _

__Nico pressed a halting kiss to Jason’s collarbone, his hands resting on Jason’s ribs. Jason’s hands were reassuring—one on the small of Nico’s back and the other against his left shoulder blade, holding him steady._ _

__He pulled back, once again meeting Jason’s eyes. This time, Jason leaned forward, busying himself with sucking a hickey into the soft skin at the base of Nico’s neck. Nico clutched at Jason’s broad back, each breath escaping as a quivering gasp. When Jason pulled away, he seemed pleased with his handiwork, what Nico was sure was a dark purple bruise—this time a mark of pleasure, rather than one of pain._ _

__Nico knew that Jason was strong, but it took on a whole new meaning when the boy lifted him off of his lap and placed him gently onto the bed. Jason’s body covered Nico’s as he planted one more kiss onto Nico’s lips, and Nico could feel evidence of Jason’s arousal pressing into his thigh. He knew that his own was pressing into Jason’s abdomen._ _

__Jason brought himself up so that he sat next to where Nico lay, his hands coming to unclasp the button of Nico’s jeans. Arousal thrummed a second pulse through Nico’s body, surging at the thought of what Jason was about to do. After pulling down the zipper, Jason gripped him through his jeans._ _

__Nico quietly moaned, to which Jason responded “Fuck, that’s hot.”_ _

__The praise only served to heighten Nico’s lust, and before Jason could go further, he lifted his hips and pushed down both his pants and underwear, before kicking them off to the foot of Jason’s bed._ _

__Though Jason had never been with another boy either, when he brought a hand to the apex of Nico’s legs, his touch was sure. He wrapped his hand around Nico’s cock, moving slowly at first unused to the rhythm. His other hand was braced on Nico’s inner thigh, pushing his legs just a bit wider._ _

__Nico moaned again, louder, and Jason met his eyes, imploring him to let go, to allow his sounds of pleasure to be heard. As Jason picked up the pace, his thumb rubbing over the head of Nico’s dick on each upstroke, he fucking whimpered. Nico threw an arm over his face, mortified at the sound he’d made. Jason stopped, just holding him, and reached out to nudge his elbow._ _

__“Let me see your face, babe.”_ _

__Nico couldn’t recall Jason ever calling him babe before, but in that husky, suggestive voice, he preferred hearing that to his own name._ _

__Jason removed his hand completely. Before he could say anything, Jason was straddling his legs, and bending down so that his face was level with Nico’s cock._ _

__Jason looked him in the eye as his tongue darted out, an experimental lick to the tip of Nico’s dick._ _

__“Fuck,” Nico gasped, the sensation unlike anything he’d ever felt before._ _

__He gave Nico an almost pensive look, as if contemplating the taste. He then licked his lips and took the head of Nico’s cock between his lips. His tongue moved awkwardly, but the wet heat was almost too much for Nico to handle. Nico placed a hand on Jason’s head, weaving his fingers into the blonde hair._ _

__Nico threw his head back as Jason took more of him into his mouth, the flat of his tongue rubbing just the right way on the underside of his cock. Jason’s saliva trailed down into Nico’s pubic hair, a sensation that was equal parts unnerving and extremely erotic. He fell into a clumsy rhythm, taking as much of Nico into his mouth as he could with each downward movement._ _

__Nico’s hand tightened in Jason’s hair, pulling lightly. Jason let out a moan inhibited by Nico’s dick in his mouth and that alone almost brought him over the edge. He pulled harder, and Jason continued with a hungry fervor that had Nico’s toes curling, his back arching to meet Jason’s mouth. Jason was unable to take his entire length, but the wet sound of his mouth and the low sounds he emitted more than made up the difference._ _

__“Jason, I…” he cut off as Jason sucked, hard. “I’m getting close.”_ _

__Jason pulled off, leaning over Nico’s face to give him a searing kiss. Nico could taste hints of himself, odd notes of musk and salt, on Jason’s tongue. He felt Jason’s own length, painfully hard, pressing into him._ _

__When the kiss ended, Nico unbuttoned Jason’s jeans and after unzipping them, tugged them down over his underwear. He wore heather gray boxer briefs, a color light enough to reveal the precome dampening the fabric. Nico stroked him through the briefs, trying to recreate the movements Jason had done. The other boy’s breathing was labored, punctuated by soft grunts that belied the way Nico was making him feel._ _

__Jason didn’t even let him remove the boxer briefs before pushing him back onto the mattress. Nico’s cock still stood at attention, curved against his stomach. As he did earlier in the evening, Jason covered Nico’s body with his own, this time lining himself up such that his dick would rub against Nico’s, only fabric between them._ _

__Jason braced his arms on either side of Nico’s body, his head buried in the junction between Nico’s neck and shoulder, the very place where a hickey bloomed on his pale skin. Jason rolled his hips, and the feeling of the weight of Jason’s cock pressing into his own sent sparks up his spine. Nico clutched at Jason’s back, nails pressing into the wide expanse of skin as Jason rutted against him._ _

__“Jason please,” Nico said, bringing a hand up to Jason’s hair and pulling at the short strands at his nape._ _

__Jason quickened the pace, his grunts breathed right into the shell of Nico’s ear. The stimulation was almost too much, and Nico felt himself nearing the edge._ _

__“I’m about to…” Nico warned, trailing off into a moan and fisting Jason’s hair._ _

__“Come for me,” Jason growled, one more grind heralding Nico’s orgasm. Jason straddled his legs, a hand stroking him through his climax. Though his own cum dripped lazily down the divots of his abdomen, Nico couldn’t focus on anything but wanting to return the favor._ _

__Jason had already removed his boxers and leaned against his wall. Nico gasped at the sight of Jason’s cock. It was larger than his own, flushed a deep, reddish purple, in a nest of dark brown curls._ _

__Nico curled a hand around it, enjoying being able to finally touch the velvety skin. He fell into a quick, nearly frantic pace, knowing that Jason must have been close too. Jason’s eyes were pressed shut, and his abs flexed in response to Nico’s ministrations._ _

__The sounds escaping the other boy had gone from low grunts into heady whines, as he began to fall apart._ _

__“Nico, babe, I—”_ _

__That was all the warning Jason was able to give before his cock twitched, shooting ropes of cum onto his own chest. As Jason had done with him, he continued pumping until no more escaped, and Jason’s dick began to soften, Nico’s hand curled loosely around it._ _

__They sat for a moment, side by side, both spent, sweaty, and speckled with their own seed. However, Jason, with his blonde hair falling into his half lidded eyes, his chest heaving from just having come, was the epitome of beauty. Jason kissed him lightly before standing and grabbing tissues off his night stand to wipe them both off._ _

__After, they laid beside each other in Jason’s bed. They hadn’t bothered to redress, skin to skin under Jason’s comforter, one of Jason’s arms wrapped protectively around his shoulders, and one of Nico’s hands resting on Jason’s chest, tracing circles on his pectoral. Nico’s fingers ghosted over one of Jason’s nipples, which earned him a pinch on the shoulder._ _

__“That was… wow.” Nico said, at a loss for words._ _

__Jason chuckled before replying. “You said it.”_ _

__“Thank you for a really really great date,” Nico said._ _

__“Thank you for letting me take you out, then take you home,” Jason countered, a sly smile quirking the corners of his lips._ _

__Nico kissed the scar on Jason’s upper lip._ _

__“My pleasure,” Nico responded._ _

__“It sure was.”_ _

__Nico scoffed. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”_ _

__“That’d be easier if I wasn’t with the hottest guy I know.”_ _

__Nico flushed at Jason’s effortless flirting, to which Jason only responded with a smile._ _

__“Wait, fuck!”_ _

__“Is everything okay?” Jason asked, concern creeping into his tone._ _

__“I need to text my sister. Gotta tell her I’ll be home tomorrow morning.”_ _

__He knew that Jason hadn’t explicitly invited him to stay the night, but the blush that dusted Jason’s cheekbones and the tender smile he elicited were answer enough._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left! I changed the structure a bit, so the next chapter will be the end of this fic. I must say that it'll take a little while for the next update, as life's been kicking me in the ass as of late. I can't believe it's almost done, to be honest. I've been working on this fic since November 2019, and by the time I'll be posting the final installment, it will have been an entire year.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!!!


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